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Like many others, I found myself gaining weight during the quarantine. To be honest, I began this period at a lower weight than usual, not due to any conscious dieting efforts but because of life circumstances. I have a condition known as polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), which makes weight management a challenge. When it’s managed well, I shed pounds; when it flares up, my weight increases. Interestingly, my pregnancies have often led to significant weight loss since PCOS symptoms tend to diminish during that time. It seems that weight is a complex issue, and it’s frustrating to hear people suggest that simply eating a salad is the solution for those of us who struggle with our bodies.
At the onset of COVID-19, I was at one of the lowest weights I’d experienced in years, primarily due to the demands of caring for a newborn. I wrestled with my feelings about this weight loss, often feeling that my worth and beauty were tied to being smaller. It’s not that I don’t want my body to change; it’s just that I’ve spent years working to separate my self-worth from my weight. If I allow myself to feel more beautiful when I lose weight, I risk feeling less valuable when I gain it back. I cannot let my weight dictate how I perceive my body; the emotional fallout is not worth it.
For a full year, my family has done our best to stay safe during the pandemic, which meant spending most of our time at home. My focus has shifted to many other things, and my body size hasn’t been a priority. Over time, my weight has increased, and I find myself back at my typical size.
Growing up surrounded by diet culture, I won’t deny that seeing the scale rise again was initially disheartening. Each pound gained felt like a step away from the societal “ideal.” However, I refused to dwell in that place of comparison. I’ve come to realize that my efforts to dissociate my body size from my human value have been invaluable.
Through my journey, I’ve unpacked the emotional scars from childhood that influence my self-image. I now understand that my body was perfectly good back then, despite what I was told, and it remains good today, regardless of societal programming.
In the past, I mistakenly equated hunger with morality, believing that being hungry made me a better person, especially as a woman. That mindset is harmful. I need to remind myself that hunger signals my body’s need for nourishment, and everyone, regardless of size, deserves to eat when they are hungry. During a pandemic, it’s natural to respond to those hunger cues more readily since we’re at home.
The negative messaging surrounding larger bodies has instilled fear in me about gaining weight, making me feel like a failure or unattractive. It’s vital to remember that my worth isn’t tied to shrinking my body to fit an ever-changing ideal.
Recently, during a doctor’s visit for a non-weight-related issue, I asked to skip the scale, as I didn’t want to confront my weight gain on a day when I was already anxious about my health. The nurse agreed, and when I saw my doctor, she didn’t mention my weight at all. I began to explain my request, but she stopped me, saying, “Don’t explain yourself. Your health is more important. You aren’t dealing with any major health issues, so let’s focus on what matters right now.”
This experience reinforced the idea that accepting body changes during such an unprecedented time is not just advisable — it’s necessary. If you’ve gained a few pounds during the pandemic, you’re definitely not alone. It’s important to extend yourself grace during this time.
Your body is a dynamic, living system that adapts to your circumstances. Gaining weight is not a sign of weakness or failure; it’s evidence that you nourished yourself during a global health crisis. So many loved ones have been lost to this virus, but you are still here. It’s okay if you have a little more of yourself right now, and I can honestly say that I’m learning to accept that I have a little more of myself too.
For more insights on this topic, check out this post on weight management during challenging times, and consider visiting Make a Mom for valuable resources on home insemination. If you’re looking for further reading on pregnancy, Healthline offers great information.
Search Queries:
- How to manage weight gain during quarantine
- Understanding PCOS and weight
- Emotional health during pregnancy
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- Self-care strategies during a pandemic
Summary:
Weight gain during quarantine is a common experience, and it’s essential to acknowledge the emotional complexities that accompany it. The author reflects on their journey with body image, societal pressures, and the importance of separating self-worth from weight. Through personal anecdotes and insights from a doctor’s visit, they emphasize the need for self-acceptance and grace during challenging times.
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