5 Strategies for Assisting a ‘Late Potty Trainer’ from a Fellow Parent Who Knows the Struggle

As a parent, I faced the challenge of potty training my daughter, who was quite late to embrace this milestone. I often felt embarrassed, convinced that others were judging me because my almost four-year-old was still relying on Pull-Ups. We weren’t simply at the end of the potty-training journey—we hadn’t even begun. She adamantly refused to approach any bathroom, whether it was the regular toilet or the adorable (but ultimately unused) penguin potty we bought. It became a true test of wills.

We purchased every style of underwear imaginable, from those featuring her beloved cartoon characters to cute rainbow and unicorn designs. I even tried sensory-friendly microfiber options, hoping they would entice her to use the potty when we returned home. Alas, none of these strategies bore fruit.

My frustration reached a boiling point after countless attempts and advice from books and online mom groups. Then, one day, my husband took a different approach. He sat her on the toilet, handed her an iPad, and put on some big headphones, encouraging her to try to go. I chuckled at first, having tried similar tactics for two years with no success. She cried, screamed, and stood up, showcasing her usual resistance. Yet, somehow, he managed to get her to sit back down, and to my astonishment, I heard the sound of drops hitting the water. She was finally going! Amidst her tears, she expressed confusion, but we cheered her on, and she smiled, saying, “That wasn’t scary at all.”

Fear of the unknown had held her back. This was a significant breakthrough, but it took some time for her to feel comfortable consistently. She would go for my husband and my mom but not for me. When I asked why, she replied, “They’re nice to me.” That hit me hard; my frustration had made her feel that I was being harsh. I adjusted my approach, and the next time she needed to go, we had a breakthrough. I was overjoyed, and we started making progress.

Here are five strategies I wish I had known earlier that could save you some headaches and laundry:

Avoid Forcing It
It’s critical to understand that your child will not use the potty until they are ready. Forcing them can be counterproductive. Their timeline may not match that of other children, and that’s perfectly fine. Allow them to take the lead.
Be Patient
Patience is key. If you want to see results, be prepared to dedicate time, perhaps an entire weekend, to sit with your child in the bathroom. Engage them with stories, songs, or activities to make the experience enjoyable.
Stay Calm
If you feel overwhelmed, take a moment for yourself. Raising your voice or issuing threats can lead to resentment and negativity towards potty training. Instead of punishment, consider offering rewards like a fun new pair of underwear or a movie night.
The Naked Approach Isn’t Always Effective
While some swear by letting kids go without clothes to help them recognize the urge to go, this method doesn’t work for everyone. If your child prefers to stay dry in their clothes, try introducing underwear instead.
Celebrate Achievements
Positive reinforcement is powerful. Offer plenty of praise and even small rewards like stickers or treats to motivate your child. Letting them know you are proud can significantly boost their confidence.

Potty training can be a daunting process, but it doesn’t have to be a dreadful experience. Remember, you’re asking your child to face something entirely new, and it’s natural for them to feel apprehensive. By staying calm and supportive, you’ll create a more positive atmosphere for this essential milestone. And if your child is a late bloomer in this area, don’t fret. Each child is different, and there’s no rush.

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Summary:

Potty training can be a challenging journey, especially if your child is a late bloomer. This article offers practical strategies for effectively supporting your child through this milestone without frustration. It emphasizes the importance of patience, positive reinforcement, and understanding that every child develops at their own pace.