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Honestly, I’ve been feeling a bit fed up with people lately. It’s been an incredibly challenging year, hasn’t it? I’m completely worn out, mentally and emotionally drained. Each day feels like a roulette wheel of emotions: is it just fatigue, the lack of social interaction beyond my immediate family for what feels like forever, or perhaps a bad mood? Who can say?
Typically, I have a pretty positive view of humanity. Sure, a few individuals might stand out in a negative way, but for the most part, I believe in the goodness of people. However, this year has truly tested that belief.
To be frank, there have been days when I felt a strong dislike for everyone. A quick scroll through social media, reading the latest news, or even chatting with a close friend can send me into a spiral of frustration. I find myself irritated with people I usually admire. There seems to be no logic behind it. Just seeing photos of others enjoying themselves without masks can ignite a rage in me. Posts discussing the risks of in-person schooling make me want to cry, especially since my children have been back in school since January.
What Is Happening?
When did I become so negative? I genuinely like people!
Here’s the reality: people can be truly inspiring and wonderful, but they can also be selfish and ignorant. This past year has revealed a lot about individuals, and not all of it is pretty. Friends I thought were kind have shown less-than-pleasant sides, and some who I believed were well-informed have turned into conspiracy theorists, dismissing expert advice on masks and safety.
Crisis tends to strip away facades, and it’s been anything but beautiful. I’ve seen friendships change or fade away, and my respect for many has dwindled. The early days of “we’re all in this together” feel like a distant memory, replaced by a mindset of individualism. The year has been filled with blame, confusion, and endless second-guessing. Even simple decisions, like going grocery shopping or sending kids to school, have become ethically charged.
If I allow my kids to play outside but won’t let them enter a friend’s house, am I being overly cautious? Or if I choose to get vaccinated when I qualify, am I doing the right thing or being selfish?
The Relentless Questioning
The constant questioning and judgment, even from myself, has been relentless and exhausting. It’s been a lonely journey. I’ve felt like there’s hardly anyone who understands my feelings. Many of us have shared this sense of isolation.
No matter how we’ve navigated life during the pandemic, it seems impossible to find someone who truly resonates with our experiences. Even among those of us who take the virus seriously, our comfort levels differ. Some feel fine with in-person schooling while adhering strictly to mask-wearing, while others may be okay with family gatherings but hesitant about grocery shopping. The emotional toll of managing these differences has been immense. Honestly, at times, I’ve considered going off the grid and living in a cabin with a pack of dogs.
Refusing to Lose Hope
But I refuse to succumb to the idea that “people suck.” I don’t want to lose sight of the good in humanity. Yes, we’re flawed, but we’re also capable of incredible kindness and compassion. I don’t hate everyone; I just dislike the chaos and challenges of the past year.
Fortunately, I’ve discovered a few ways to feel less irritable. I remind myself that we’re all dealing with stress, and we need to extend grace to one another. Watching mindless TV shows helps (currently into “White Collar”). And I’ve found that the usual stress busters like meditation, exercise, and fresh air really do make a difference. Plus, getting vaccinated has definitely helped too!
In Summary
This year has thrown us into difficult situations where there were no perfect choices, just less terrible ones. If you’re feeling frustrated and alone, know that you’re not the only one. These feelings will eventually fade… I hope. And if they don’t? Well, you might just find me enjoying life off-grid in a cabin with my dogs.
For more insights on navigating the challenges of family planning, check out this post on home insemination and learn about the resources available at Resolve.
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