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Have you ever considered how becoming a new mother can resemble the awkwardness of adolescence? That phase when your emotions are all over the place, you’re not quite sure of your identity, and it feels like no one really understands? This experience is captured by the term Matrescence.
Many of us are led to believe that mastering motherhood is an instant achievement the moment your baby is placed in your arms. However, the reality is that this transformation is complex and doesn’t occur overnight. Matrescence is crucial for both mothers and their supporters to understand, as it encapsulates this challenging transition.
Originally introduced in the 1970s by anthropologist Dana Louise Raphael, the term Matrescence was revitalized in 2008 by reproductive psychologist Dr. Sophie Lane. She describes it as a profound change encompassing various domains—biological, psychological, social, political, and spiritual—similar to the developmental journey of adolescence. Dr. Lane emphasizes that this transition is unique for each individual, beginning as early as preconception and potentially lasting a lifetime.
When speaking with new mothers or teenagers, Dr. Lane notes they often express feelings of disorientation, stating, “It feels like everything’s upside down; I don’t recognize myself anymore.” If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone in your experience.
Unlike adolescence, however, Matrescence isn’t widely recognized as a significant developmental phase. Mothers often navigate this life-altering change under demanding circumstances, such as sleep deprivation and the pressures of caring for a newborn while still trying to care for themselves. It can feel as if you’re thrust back into normal life with little recognition of your struggles.
During this time, mothers develop new skills, reshape relationships, and adjust to a new way of living—all while grappling with feelings of lost identity and conflicting emotions. This experience can come as a shock to many. Moreover, when seeking support on social media, new moms may encounter idealized portrayals of motherhood that can make them feel inadequate.
While most are aware of the biological changes that come with motherhood—like physical changes, hormonal fluctuations, and stretch marks—it’s essential to recognize that the journey of becoming a mother encompasses much more than just the physical. Dr. Lane’s findings indicate that Matrescence isn’t limited to those who give birth; it also applies to adoptive parents or those who become mothers through surrogacy.
Motherhood is a complex emotional landscape filled with joy, fear, pride, guilt, and everything in between. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the disparity between your expectations and the reality of motherhood. Many women find themselves suffering in silence, hesitant to share their “negative” feelings due to the societal image of the “perfect mom.” This internal struggle is often conflated with postpartum depression, but it is important to understand that there is a spectrum of experiences between idealized motherhood and postpartum challenges.
Dr. Lane believes that recognizing Matrescence can serve as a “healing agent,” helping mothers understand that they will experience both highs and lows throughout their journey. Psychologically, becoming a mom means redefining your identity and the roles you play, whether you want it to happen or not.
It’s like a game of 52-card pickup, where your life gets scattered, and you have to piece it back together. You may feel chaotic, but Dr. Lane compares this to a butterfly in a cocoon, emphasizing that growth often requires struggle and time.
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Summary:
Matrescence is an essential term that describes the intricate and often challenging process of transitioning into motherhood. Coined in the 1970s, it highlights that becoming a mother is not an instant process but a multifaceted journey that encompasses various emotional and social changes. Understanding this term can alleviate feelings of isolation and confusion among new mothers as they navigate their unique experiences.
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