My Favorite Getaway Isn’t Really an Escape

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I spent the last weekend imagining myself on the sun-kissed shores of Capri, where I would swim until the lively chatter from the beach faded into the soothing sounds of waves. But, of course, that fantasy remains just that—a fantasy. With the ongoing pandemic stretching well beyond a year and my new role as a mother, life has become considerably more confined.

This dual confinement has had its silver linings. Being a new mom during a time when social pressures are minimized has its perks; navigating the challenges of motherhood feels more manageable when the outside world isn’t clamoring for my attention. But I still desire the thrill of travel and exploration. I yearn for the unexpectedness of a new destination. Many days, I find myself daydreaming about hopping on a plane and flying anywhere.

Though I’m fortunate to be vaccinated now, my unprotected little one means that air travel is still off the table. Instead, I’ve found a different way to satisfy my wanderlust: reading. That’s how I found myself on a beach in Capri last weekend and wandering through Baku just last night.

Before becoming a mother, I was an avid reader, devouring books at a rapid pace. But after my daughter was born, I struggled to focus, often feeling at a loss during my rare moments alone. I would drift around our home, unsure of how to spend my time. Occasionally, I’d attempt to read during those marathon nursing sessions (if you know, you know), but I often ended up gazing at my baby instead of the book.

In December, I finally managed to finish a book. Over the next couple of months, I read another. By March, as my daughter began to sleep for longer stretches, I discovered a precious window of time in the evenings when I could finally escape into a story. It felt glorious; that time was entirely mine.

Reading offers a wonderfully escapist experience. When I can’t physically travel, diving into fiction transports me to different worlds. Studies even suggest that reading novels can enhance empathy over time. While news articles are informative, they lack the depth of a good story, which can whisk you away into an entirely new realm.

Now, with my newfound reading routine, I find myself adventuring to various places every few nights. (I love my partner and child, but let’s be honest, I’ve spent an abundance of time with them lately.) One evening, I’m lost in a romantic tale set in a quaint town by Lake Michigan. The next, I’m immersed in the vibrant atmosphere of a Tokyo convenience store. I’ve wandered through Paris and even spent some time in Sri Lanka, enjoying the warm, humid mornings and waiting for the monsoon rains. I’ve also explored the heat of Samarkand, lounged by a pool in the Hamptons, and savored pepper soup in Lagos.

Reading not only allows me to escape; it also offers a reprieve from the all-consuming demands of motherhood—feeding, teaching her to stand, and preparing for sleep, all while ensuring I have enough baby-proofing gear. My time is often sliced into five-minute chunks, and I negotiate for tiny moments of luxury. Even this sentence was interrupted by her cries.

In this relentless cycle, breaking free to stay up late reading feels deliciously indulgent. I know I’ll regret the lack of sleep come morning, but I can’t pull myself away from the pages. In a year where responsibility has been paramount, this little act of rebellion feels exhilarating. Late-night reading is my guilty pleasure, a small act of defiance in a world filled with duties.

I know this phase won’t last forever. Vaccines are being distributed, and my daughter is growing every day. Eventually, I’ll have more time to read beyond the fleeting margins of my day. One day, I’ll board a plane with my daughter and introduce her to the world that I adore so much. I eagerly anticipate that day.

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Summary:

In this reflective piece, Emma Thompson shares her longing for travel and adventure amidst the constraints of motherhood and a pandemic. She finds solace in reading, which allows her to escape into different worlds and enjoy brief moments of freedom. As her daughter grows and the world slowly opens up again, Emma looks forward to future adventures and more time to indulge in her love for books.


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