We Must Change the Way We Speak About Thighs

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As I navigate my body’s changes after welcoming my third child amidst a pandemic, I’m learning to reevaluate my self-image. Admittedly, this is the first time I’ve noticed extra belly fat. When I lean down to pick something up or bend into a yoga pose, I can see a few inches of skin that sag. I appreciate the mom jean trend—it’s a relief not to have to squeeze into low-rise jeans anymore. Not only would they have exposed my thong, but where would my belly fit in those styles? (My apologies for ever promoting that trend, by the way.) Let’s be real: thongs are basically medieval torture devices, likely invented by someone who had no regard for comfort.

Thanks to the rise of digital media, we are gradually embracing body positivity. Women are sharing photos in swimsuits without shame, and influencers like Mia Carter are teaching us how to pose to minimize the appearance of cellulite. We have the ability to curate our social media feeds, opting for positive representations instead of traditional magazines that often set unrealistic beauty standards. If you encounter ads that make you feel inadequate—like weight-loss products or anti-aging solutions—don’t hesitate to mark them as offensive. This simple act can help clear your feed of reminders that might make you feel less than enough.

I’ve struggled with my perception of my thighs for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I often heard jokes like, “Thunder thighs, thunder thighs, when you see them you’re gonna die.” By the time I was 16 and stood at six feet two, I was labeled as “big,” even while I was still quite slender. I constantly worried about how others viewed my thighs; if I was in a room with athletic-looking individuals, I felt a little better about myself. But if others shared my insecurities, I felt embarrassed. I was conditioned to think my thighs needed to be toned and slimmed down through various workouts, rather than accepting them as simply thighs—part of my body and not a reflection of my worth.

If any of this resonates with you, you might have also been influenced by articles that classify body types or label certain areas as “problematic.” Seriously, who decided that certain body features needed fixing? It’s a reflection of societal standards that stem from problematic ideologies, often rooted in white supremacy.

Having been sober for 18 years from bulimia and other issues, it’s strange to suddenly feel disconnected from my body after giving birth during a global crisis. Like many mothers, I’m now stepping back into social situations, wondering what people will think of my appearance. What if they judge my thighs or see me as a “big girl”? These lingering thoughts can dictate how I present myself to the world. But here’s the truth: thighs are just thighs. I may be larger than some, but I am perfectly sized for myself. We must not let others’ judgments dictate our self-worth. Your value comes from how you see yourself.

Take some time to reflect on where your negative thoughts originated. Were you also subjected to body-shaming remarks? Identifying these past experiences can help us reclaim our self-love. It’s challenging to accept ourselves when we harbor shame about our appearance. So, if you haven’t heard it in a while: You are beautiful. Your body is incredible. Let’s keep reminding one another of this truth.

It’s time to wear those shorts, flaunt the swimsuit, and reconnect with your body. Remember, you are loved!

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In summary, it’s crucial to shift our conversation about body image, specifically regarding thighs, from labeling them as ‘problems’ to accepting them as a natural part of ourselves. By fostering a culture of body positivity and self-love, we can empower ourselves and others to embrace our bodies as they are.