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When I was in college, my friend Mia needed a new mattress. She asked me to join her for some company, and I joked that friends don’t let friends shop for mattresses alone. We grabbed some drinks, chatted on the way, debated different mattress options, and returned home feeling accomplished. I always thought this was the kind of ordinary activity that friends engage in. When you have a chore to run, you call a friend. In other cultures, this is referred to as an “errand hang.”
Apparently, I might be a bit unusual, or perhaps it’s just that most of the parents I know are in the same boat.
I used to errand hang all the time—at least, that was the case before COVID and before three of my closest mom friends relocated in the same year. Even now, in the post-COVID world, I still find ways to make it happen. The errand hang is very much alive and well, folks. How else are we supposed to socialize? Our lives are hectic, and planning a special outing with wine and fancy food often feels impossible. My free time is usually consumed with tasks I need or want to tackle.
But I prefer tackling those tasks with someone else. So I call a friend. Need to pick up some candles and crystals? I know just the person. He probably needs some too, and if he doesn’t, he’ll appreciate a ride, a sweet tea, and some good conversation. Together, we’ll choose a selenite tower and some candles, share life updates, and maybe even pop into a thrift store. That’s an errand hang.
Moms Errand Hang All the Time
I genuinely miss my mom friends, primarily because of our errand hangs. We all had kids to get out of the house and chores to manage. I could always reach out: “Hey, do you need to go to Target? Because I really need to hit it too.” We’d meet in the parking lot with our lists.
“Okay, you need shampoo, fruit, and a shower curtain, and I need contact lens solution, washcloths, and a bath mat. Plus, I’m hunting for the latest ‘Dogman’ and ‘Catkid’ books, and I might want to rummage through those clearance bins because remember that amazing hardback David Bowie notebook I scored for three bucks?”
My friends would tease me about that notebook, and we’d laugh as we loaded our kids into carts, ensuring they didn’t dash in front of them, all while keeping each other focused on our lists. This teamwork meant we often left the store with just what we intended to buy—thanks to the errand hang.
I would help her choose her shower curtain while she guided me in selecting my bra, and we’d share these little insights into each other’s lives during those moments that collectively shape our existence. Later, I might visit her home and comment, “Your shower curtain looks great,” or whisper, “I’m totally wearing that bra, and you were right about skipping the underwire.”
My Post-COVID Errand Hangs
My best friend Noah and I still errand hang frequently because he’s a busy lawyer and I’m a dedicated writer. He picked me up one Sunday for a day of political errands: visiting people, putting out yard signs, and collecting them. Solo, it would have been incredibly dull. Instead, we listened to a playlist and chatted while enjoying CBD vapes, transforming a tedious day into quality friend time.
We had another errand hang recently when he bought a new washer. Before you jump to conclusions: he didn’t need my assistance; Noah is well aware of what he wants and how much to spend. He just wanted me around while he went through the process of finding his washer, waiting for a sales rep, signing paperwork, and arranging delivery for his used Whirlpool. So I accompanied him, leaned against appliances, and reminisced about that one time I was so stoned in college that I woke up panicking, thinking I’d be high forever (note: Noah never got high; he just babysat me).
I declared his washer a good choice—though honestly, I don’t know much about washers, having left that decision to my husband. He enjoyed my company, and we had a chance to hang out. That’s what an errand hang is all about. Most parents probably do this. How else can we catch up with friends in our busy lives? So when we need to do something, we invite a friend along, and that trip evolves into a mini-adventure, often including a Starbucks stop.
Even Noah and I made a pit stop for energy drinks along the way. I resonate with Cindy Wang Brandt, who points out that in Mandarin, they refer to the errand hang as “陪, ‘pei,’ which means to accompany someone for seemingly trivial reasons.” I appreciate that. Sometimes, we Americans mix our errands with a friend’s (like with my mom friends), but other times, we simply accompany someone else for convenience. I’ve had friends join me while shopping for dresses, selecting paint, or even picking Christmas gifts for people they’ve never met. It’s an opportunity to talk, connect, and enjoy each other’s company while doing something seemingly mundane.
We need more errand hanging in our lives. If a friend gives you a strange look when you suggest an errand hang, they might just be the odd one out. Who wouldn’t want to stand around with a drink in hand, discussing the pros and cons of mattresses or washers with a close friend?
To learn more about the significance of social connections and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on artificial insemination or visit Make A Mom for authoritative insights on these topics. You can also read more about connections and friendships in our other blog post.
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In summary, errand hanging is a delightful way to maintain friendships while tackling everyday tasks. It allows friends to connect in a meaningful yet casual manner, helping to navigate busy lives together.
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