Beyond Pampering: A Deeper Look into Authentic Self-Care

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For a long time, I believed I was approaching self-care the wrong way. I indulged in pedicures, massages, spent time with friends, caught movies, and dove into books — everything that is traditionally thought of as self-care. Yet, I didn’t feel any more rejuvenated or less anxious; in fact, I often felt worse.

Perhaps I was missing the point. Maybe the reason I didn’t feel cared for stemmed from the fact that I was constantly engaging in these activities, which didn’t address the root causes of my stress. After numerous therapy sessions, my therapist proposed that I dedicate just fifteen minutes each day to confront the stressors in my life—like decluttering my home or organizing my mail. (Oh dear, I had a mountain of unopened mail that had accumulated for over a year.)

I wish I could say I took that advice to heart and made lasting changes. (Spoiler alert: that didn’t happen.) I managed to stick with it for about two weeks. However, during that time, I did feel an immense relief as the overwhelming tasks started to be tackled, allowing me to actually enjoy my life.

What is True Self-Care?

Self-care has been commodified by capitalism, morphing into yet another method for selling us products, similar to how it has with romantic love and other concepts. We are led to believe that self-care can be fulfilled solely through consumption—that our needs can be met with material items or services. We’re sold false promises for our well-being.

Evette Dionne, Editor-in-Chief of Bitch Media, shared on Instagram that self-care is fundamentally about survival. For her, self-care encompasses “working through your own suppression, distancing yourself from toxic relationships, and actively disengaging from harmful systems.” She views self-care as a discipline: “It involves tackling the challenging aspects of our lives that we often wish to avoid, such as adhering to prescribed medications, attending therapy, and establishing boundaries even if it means letting go of certain people. To me, self-care consists of therapy, setting firm boundaries regarding my time and relationships, and truly listening to my body.”

Self-Care is Personal

There’s no wrong way to practice self-care. In reality, self-care is an expansive concept. It encompasses whatever it is you need to feel emotionally, physically, and spiritually balanced. Whether you choose to incorporate self-care activities into your life or they’re already part of your routine, this practice is deeply personal and unique to you.

It won’t resemble what your friends or the influencers you follow do. It should reflect your individuality.

Tips for Genuine Self-Care

Here are some universal self-care tips that you can implement today:

1. Prioritize Sleep. The pandemic disrupted many of our routines, potentially creating poor sleep habits due to anxiety and endless work. Focus on good sleep hygiene.
2. Stay Hydrated. Drink enough water throughout the day. Refreshing yourself is crucial for overall well-being.
3. Tune into Your Body. This ties back to the previous two tips. Take your medications, consume nutritious foods, exercise, stretch, and don’t hesitate to take breaks or seek counseling when needed.
4. Eliminate Toxic Relationships. Establish healthy boundaries with individuals or platforms that don’t positively contribute to your life. If they consistently bring negativity, reconsider their role in your life.
5. Reflect on Your Desires. Contemplate what you truly want and how you wish to live. Identify what brings you joy versus unhappiness, and make strides toward living the life you envision.
6. Delegate Tasks. If possible, hire someone to handle chores you dislike, such as cleaning or grocery shopping. If you have older children, encourage them to take responsibility for their own chores.
7. Spend Time Outdoors. It may surprise some, but being in nature can be beneficial. It helps with eye health and provides much-needed Vitamin D. Soak in the beauty around you.

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Summary

In summary, authentic self-care transcends typical pampering activities. It involves confronting stressors, nurturing your mental health, and creating a lifestyle that prioritizes your well-being. By integrating personalized self-care practices into your life, you can achieve emotional and physical wellness.