Before Joining ‘Fat Positive’ Communities, Consider These Important Points

As we navigate the complexities of body image, it’s essential to recognize that many of us harbor some level of fatphobia. When I mention this, I often receive a familiar mix of reactions. There are those who vehemently deny it, claiming they are not at all fatphobic. Others argue that fatphobia is a myth, suggesting that those who discuss it merely want to play the victim. And, let’s not forget the individuals who, inappropriately, express their attraction to larger bodies in ways that miss the mark entirely. (A gentle reminder: that’s not what fat positivity is about.)

Then, there are those who genuinely seek to learn and grow. They acknowledge that our society promotes an ideal of thinness, making it understandable that we might carry some biases against larger bodies. This group wants to explore how to shift their long-standing beliefs about fatness and is willing to engage in meaningful conversation.

Today, I’m speaking directly to that audience. If you’re not open to listening or if you’re only here to debate, this isn’t the place for you.

Let’s Delve into Fatphobia

It’s the belief that larger bodies are inferior to thinner ones, and we all have our share of it—even those of us who identify as fat. I am one of those individuals, and I dedicate much of my time to discussing fatness. Despite my journey toward self-acceptance, I still find myself grappling with unrealistic body standards and internal comparisons. Acknowledging these struggles is crucial, and I often seek guidance from trusted friends to process these feelings. However, internalized fatphobia is still fatphobia, and recognizing the negative thoughts I sometimes direct toward my own body indicates that I have more work to do.

I’ve also come across incredible fat-positive content creators online. A recent thread by Jamie Rivers is a treasure trove of insights. There are so many brilliant individuals generously sharing their knowledge on platforms like Instagram and TikTok. (By the way, if you appreciate a creator’s work, especially if they are from marginalized communities, consider supporting them financially. They shouldn’t have to give their knowledge away for free.)

The sense of belonging I find in fat-positive online communities is a balm for my diet-culture scars, and I believe everyone stands to gain from engaging with these spaces. However, before you dive in, here are several key points to keep in mind:

Recognize the Fatness Spectrum. It’s undeniable that larger individuals face greater challenges in our thin-centric culture. While many fat people share common experiences, those in larger bodies might encounter difficulties that others do not. When they share their stories, it’s vital to listen and learn rather than assume your own experiences are equivalent.
Don’t Speak Over Larger Bodies. If you’re in a fat-positive space, particularly if you identify as smaller-bodied, prioritize listening over speaking. If someone shares their experience with size discrimination, it’s not your place to invalidate their feelings. Your role is to absorb their insights and carry them into your interactions.
Avoid Imposing Your Limits. If we aspire to cultivate a more inclusive world, we must embrace all fat bodies, especially those at the heavier end of the spectrum. It’s easy to celebrate fatness when it aligns with mainstream beauty standards, but we must also uplift those who do not fit those molds. Every body deserves respect, regardless of societal perceptions.
Confront Your Own Negative Attitudes. It’s uncomfortable to admit, but many of us carry biases against larger bodies. If you find yourself thinking, “I’m glad I’m not that fat,” that’s a sign of fatphobia. Acknowledge these feelings and work to understand them.
Let Go of the Pursuit of Perfect Health. Health is not solely determined by size. Both fat and thin individuals can experience health challenges, and respect should be extended to everyone, regardless of their health status. Expecting only fat individuals to achieve an idealized state of health to earn respect is misguided and harmful.

In summary, the essence of fat-positive spaces should center around listening rather than making it about individual experiences. Embrace the complexity of body size and the various narratives that accompany it. By doing so, you’ll better support your fat friends and cultivate a more compassionate view of your own body.

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