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My son always messages me when he’s on his way home, signaling me to start dinner. A few weeks ago, while I was busy in the kitchen after receiving his text, I heard a woman shouting outside. Since I hadn’t heard his car pull in, I was completely puzzled.
When I looked outside, I saw my son still in his car, and a woman from down the street was yelling at him, her face flushed and her voice nearly at a scream.
I heard my son acknowledge that he was speeding and apologize. At that moment, I stepped outside to figure out what was going on, and she quickly left the scene.
After talking with my son, he admitted he had been driving too fast on our street. “I was going 25, and she gestured for me to slow down,” he explained. I emphasized that he needed to be more cautious, as safety is my top priority.
However, I was taken aback by the intensity of her anger. I didn’t appreciate how she was yelling at my son, especially when he was being respectful and apologetic.
When I spoke to this woman, who does not have children, it became clear that her rage was directed at my son for his driving. I told her that I understood her concern and wouldn’t be upset if someone pointed out unsafe behavior, but her tone was excessive.
This was the first interaction she had ever had with my son, and he had never been reported for speeding before. Had she approached him by saying, “You were going too fast; please slow down for the safety of everyone on our road,” it would have resonated with him much more than her shouting.
She rolled her eyes at me, indicating that she believed children should automatically show respect to adults. It was as if she expected respect from both me and my son while exhibiting no respectful behavior herself. I honestly felt her anger stemmed from the fact that we weren’t intimidated by her.
Most parents are open to constructive criticism of their children’s behavior. I’ve never hesitated to acknowledge when my kids misbehave. They test boundaries, they’re not perfect, and they make mistakes.
That said, I don’t believe anyone should yell at them or disrespect them, whether they are strangers or acquaintances. The notion that children must simply respect their elders without question is outdated.
It’s inappropriate to speak to kids in a manner that you wouldn’t accept for yourself simply because they’re younger. It’s also not right to become enraged when they express themselves or stand up for themselves. I refuse to sit back and watch while someone disrespects my kids, thinking they hold some superiority.
If I don’t advocate for my children, they won’t learn to advocate for themselves. They might think the solution to dealing with aggressive individuals is to submit and let them walk all over them.
My son handled the situation with politeness. He dislikes confrontation and acknowledged that he was in the wrong. Is he perfect? No, but no one is. We need to extend more understanding toward children and their missteps.
That doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be consequences or discussions about their actions. And I assure you, showing more grace won’t lead to parents denying their kids make mistakes; it simply means treating them with the respect we wish to receive when we err.
Being children doesn’t mean they should be belittled or subjected to disrespect. Go ahead and try, but this generation of parents — and this protective mother in particular — won’t tolerate it.
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Search Queries:
- How to support children’s respectful communication
- Understanding children’s rights to express themselves
- Navigating confrontations with adults
- Teaching kids about accountability
- The importance of respectful dialogue with children
In summary, it’s essential to foster an environment where kids are treated with respect, even when they make mistakes. Yelling and disrespecting them is not acceptable, and we must teach them how to stand up for themselves while also showing them the importance of accountability.
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