4 Sacrifices I Made to Enhance My Parenting Journey

1. I Stopped Chasing ‘Mom Friends’

“Have you met any new ‘mom friends’ yet?” was a common inquiry during my son’s first year. I had heard that local mothers’ groups could lead to lifelong friendships, but they didn’t resonate with me. Instead, I found a group of anxious, insecure parents all trying to navigate their own journeys while constantly measuring themselves against one another. So, I decided to decline those mothers’ group invitations.

My alternative was to seek friendships in the playground — a daunting task for my introverted self. Instead of stressing over making friends, I focused on fostering a bond with my baby. I dedicated time to truly get to know him through walks, play, and feeding, allowing for genuine connection. While I still wanted to learn from other parents, I chose to do so from a distance, free from judgment and without the pressure of playdates. I found online communities that aligned with my parenting style, which helped me grow in confidence as a parent. Naturally, making new mom friends became easier from that point on.

2. I Let Go of Rigid Schedules

From the moment our children arrive, we are bombarded with a plethora of milestones — growth charts, feeding schedules, sleep patterns, and more. Initially, these guidelines seemed to satisfy my organizational instincts, but as my baby grew, I realized these expectations were often unrealistic. I learned to parent according to my child’s unique developmental rhythm, allowing me to create a parenting style that didn’t stick to conventional timelines.

This meant continuing breastfeeding for as long as it felt right, not rushing my child into independent sleep, and waiting for potty training until he was truly ready. I prioritized his needs over a rigid social calendar. Adopting this unconventional approach has posed its own challenges, but it has also led to a much happier parenting experience for me.

3. I Stopped Worrying About Screen Time

I once vowed that I wouldn’t let my child watch TV. How naive I was! As my son grew more active, I found it increasingly difficult to care for him while also prioritizing my mental and physical well-being. He started watching TV just before turning two, which brought on a wave of parental guilt.

While many parents are aware of the impact excessive screen time can have on development, I faced the reality of needing some downtime. I decided to stop stressing and instead view screens as a useful parenting tool. First, I clarified my reasons for using them: providing safe entertainment when I had exhausted other options. I established some flexible family guidelines for screen use, such as limiting it to home viewing and keeping it to a maximum of one hour a day. Age-appropriate shows and co-viewing with my son helped ease the transition, and engaging in activities together afterward made it easier for him to shift back to playtime. This shift in perspective allowed the guilt to fade away, and I embraced being a “screen-lite parent.”

4. I Let Go of My Own Parenting Background

We don’t come with a parenting manual; we carry the influences of our own upbringing. As a child of the ’80s, I adopted a “seen and not heard” mentality, where behavior was strictly monitored. Although this authoritarian style is still prevalent, I felt compelled to forge a different path.

Choosing a gentle parenting approach required conscious effort. For someone who likes control, it wasn’t easy to respect my son’s behavior, regardless of how chaotic it might seem. Yet, this mindful approach has fostered significant self-awareness and personal growth. My parents did their best with the knowledge they had, and embracing a different approach empowers me to be my authentic self in motherhood.

Letting go of these four things has transformed me into a more present, confident, and unapologetic parent. For more insights on parenting, check out our related blog post here.

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In summary, giving up societal expectations, rigid timelines, and preconceived notions about parenting has led me to a more fulfilling and authentic parenting experience. Embracing my unique journey has allowed me to be more present and confident in my choices as a parent.