Living with Mental Illness: It Doesn’t Have a Specific Appearance

A messy home, clothes piled high, and dishes overflowing in the sink. A disheveled woman who seems to have lost her spark. If you believe this is the typical image of someone living with a mental illness, think again.

Before diving deeper, it’s important to clarify the distinction between mental health and mental illness, which many people mistakenly use interchangeably. As the director of Speaking Grey, Aditi Joshi, points out, “While not everyone struggles with mental illness, everyone has mental health. It’s about your emotional and mental wellbeing.” Those living with mental illness experience profound changes in their emotions, thoughts, or behaviors due to their conditions.

Breaking the Stigma

I’ll be upfront about my passionate stance on this issue. As someone who deals with my own mental health challenges, I’ve witnessed the struggles of many loved ones as well. I’m exhausted from seeing people battle invisible illnesses while others downplay their significance because they can’t be seen. According to NAMI, one in five individuals in the U.S. has a mental illness, meaning if you aren’t affected personally, it’s likely someone close to you is.

Despite being a widely known statistic, it still shocks me how many people hold firm beliefs about what mental illness looks like. There’s no universal sign that says, “I’m living with a mental illness.”

To combat the stigma, we connected with several women around the globe who advocate for mental health and openly share their experiences with mental illness. Their common thread? They are all courageous individuals sharing their stories to help raise awareness.

Some Days Are Tougher Than Others

When I’m having a particularly challenging day—one of those days when everything seems to go wrong—anyone who crosses my path better be ready for a reaction. I own that. Lila from South Africa, who runs the organization Chalk It Up, approaches her difficult days differently. “I’ve lived with bipolar disorder for a decade. On hard days, I often go on autopilot, taking things a step at a time. But there are days when I can’t function, and I need to take a mental health day to recharge,” she shared.

Emily from the Midwest describes her tough days with depression and PTSD using a relatable analogy. “It’s like watching a 3D movie without the glasses; you can tell what’s going on, but it’s all out of focus,” she explains. Even when she struggles internally, most people wouldn’t know it. “I’m a smiling depressive, so while I may seem quiet, inside I’m battling overwhelming thoughts and physical discomfort.”

Both Lila and Emily’s experiences highlight the necessity of openly discussing mental health. Before receiving treatment for my anxiety and depression, my ability to function made it difficult to recognize my struggles, let alone get a diagnosis. For many, medication and therapy become essential components of daily life.

There’s No Right or Wrong Way to Cope

Managing a mental illness can take many forms. Medication, therapy, and physical activity are just a few of the ways these advocates navigate their lives. Livia, also from the Midwest, shares how her family encouraged her to seek help for her untreated anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders. “My compulsions consumed much of my time. But with medication and therapy, I’m finally able to talk about my experiences,” she explains.

In contrast, Natasha from Florida has faced a different journey. “Since I was 11, I struggled with suicidal thoughts that led to self-harm. Growing up, we didn’t discuss feelings, which resulted in a lot of pent-up rage. My family denied my depression, which made things even harder,” she recounts. Despite her family’s denial, Natasha found strength in physical activity and journaling, ultimately leading her to therapists who understood her needs.

Most Importantly, You Are Not Alone

It’s been just over three years since I began actively addressing my mental health. The change has been monumental. But you don’t have to take just my word for it. Lila, Emily, Livia, and Natasha are among millions living with mental illness, all of whom have bravely shared their experiences to remind us that we are never truly alone.

This is how we break the stigma surrounding mental illness: by normalizing conversations and talking about it as we would any other health issue. We must change the narrative about what mental illness looks like (whatever that even means). Mental health is health—end of story. Join the conversation, and let’s work together to dismantle the stigma. Remember, if you have nothing nice to say, especially about the “look” of mental illness, it’s best to stay silent.

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In summary, mental illness does not have a specific appearance nor a standard narrative. It’s time to celebrate the diversity of experiences and foster open dialogue about mental health.