I hear a loud crash from my daughter’s room and instantly freeze. My rational mind knows I’m not in danger, yet my hands tremble and my body goes tense. What’s happening to me? That’s a complicated question with a deep answer.
Here’s the truth: nothing is fundamentally wrong with me; I just live with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which undeniably impacts my daily life. Honestly, it’s draining to explain my intense reactions to seemingly ordinary situations. But I’m here to shed some light on my experience.
First, let’s clarify: no one is obligated to explain their trauma or how they cope with it. I choose to share my journey in the hope that it resonates with someone out there. Whether you’re the one experiencing PTSD or you’re supporting someone who is, discussing this reality can be beneficial for all of us. So, let’s jump in.
The phrase “it’s not you, it’s me” perfectly encapsulates my experience. My feelings of withdrawal and being triggered by everyday occurrences have nothing to do with the person I’m with in those moments. Here are a few insights you might not know about being in a relationship with someone who has PTSD.
PTSD Can Affect Anyone
Mainstream portrayals of PTSD often miss the mark. It’s not just for veterans, first responders, or those in high-risk professions. While those individuals may indeed experience PTSD, the reality is that 1 in 11 people will face this diagnosis in their lifetime, according to the American Psychiatric Association.
Consider the first eleven people you know personally. Are they all in trauma-related jobs? Probably not. They could be teachers, stay-at-home parents, college students, or service workers. Many of them might appear fine on the surface, but underneath, they may be part of that 1 in 11 statistic. This figure only accounts for diagnosed cases; countless others, like me, may live with PTSD without even realizing it.
I am one of those individuals who hasn’t experienced extreme traumas like kidnapping or fires. Fireworks don’t remind me of gunfire; instead, I deal with the aftermath of life’s more subtle traumas. In my case, the triggers stem from events I didn’t recognize as traumatic at the time. It’s a culmination of experiences that began over a decade before my diagnosis. Loud noises, particularly raised voices, can send me into a panic state.
So, if you’re frustrated with customer service and raise your voice, my body may react as if I’m in danger, even if the situation isn’t life-threatening.
Navigating Life with PTSD
Living with PTSD doesn’t come with a manual. The key is to give yourself permission to pursue a fulfilling life despite your experiences. Whether it’s confiding in friends or seeking therapy, find what works best for you.
Self-care is essential, especially for those with PTSD. While bubble baths and pedicures are great, self-care also means recognizing and avoiding triggers. If you find yourself reacting strongly to situations, stepping back to assess your feelings is not selfish. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish.
It can be challenging to express your needs, so lean on your loved ones for support. If you’re in a relationship with someone who has PTSD, don’t hesitate to discuss their triggers and how you can help them practice self-care. Open communication and mutual understanding are vital in any relationship.
While it may not always be easy, I can assure you that it will always be worth it. You deserve love and support, and so does the person you care about.
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Summary: Understanding PTSD is crucial for fostering healthy relationships. By recognizing that PTSD can affect anyone, communicating openly with loved ones, and prioritizing self-care, individuals and their partners can navigate the complexities of this condition together.
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