My son graduated from high school in June, and over the last few years, he has faced the question “Where will you be going to college?” countless times. It seems like everyone — from family friends to total strangers I meet while shopping — is fixated on this one question, as if college is the only path available to him.
Honestly, this is akin to asking a newlywed couple when they plan to start a family or inquiring about a recently unemployed person’s next job. It’s intrusive and assumes there is only one way forward in life.
Not every high school graduate is ready to jump into college immediately. The pressure can be overwhelming, and many kids might need a moment to breathe. There are numerous alternatives out there, and it would be beneficial for everyone to recognize that having a post-graduation plan can look different for each individual. Imagine if people asked graduates where they plan to travel, what jobs they are considering, or whether they might join the military instead. It sounds unusual, right?
That’s precisely why most people skip those questions and default to college inquiries, as if attending school is the only reasonable choice.
Currently, my son has no plans to attend college. He’s taking his time to explore what he wants to pursue in life before committing to years of study. I think that’s a wise decision. He refuses to be rushed or pressured into a direction that doesn’t feel right for him.
His friends are forging their own paths, with one joining the military, another training to become an interior designer, and yet another pursuing engineering. One is entering an apprenticeship to learn shipbuilding, while another is happy to stay in retail and work his way up. Yet, despite their diverse ambitions, they all receive the same repetitive question: “Where are you going to college?”
Instead of asking, “What are your plans after high school?” or “What do you want to do next?” we often settle for the college question. Some students handle it with a smile, saying something like, “College isn’t for me,” but many feel the weight of expectation.
There are also young people who may not have the option to attend college due to financial constraints or lack of familial support. It can be overwhelming for a teenager to balance academics, extracurriculars, and the financial burden of higher education.
For instance, I know a 20-year-old who took a year off after high school to work and save money. He earned a track scholarship but ultimately couldn’t maintain the grades needed to keep it. Now, he’s back at home working, facing the same barrage of questions about college. Yet, he found a passion for masonry and decided to pursue it instead, avoiding debt while he figures things out.
While many teens aspire to attend college, it’s essential to recognize that there are countless other valid and fulfilling paths. My son is thriving in the trades, earning more than I did in my late twenties with my degree — which I’m still paying off!
When adults continuously ask teens about their college plans without considering other options, it only adds to their stress. It’s time to stop assuming college is the next step. What may seem like casual conversation can weigh heavily on our young people’s minds.
So, let’s change the narrative. Instead of asking where they are going to college, let’s ask more open-ended questions that encourage them to share their aspirations and interests. This small shift can boost their confidence and reshape how they envision their future.
For more insights on navigating the challenges of young adulthood, check out this article on mitochondrial disease or visit Make A Mom for expert advice on home insemination and related topics. Additionally, WebMD offers valuable information on pregnancy and insemination techniques.
Search Queries
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Summary: Rather than perpetuating the pressure on teenagers to pursue college immediately after high school, we should encourage open dialogue about their future aspirations, recognizing the variety of paths they can take. This shift in conversation can alleviate stress and foster confidence in their unique journeys.
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