Dear Emma and Lily,
Tomorrow marks my return to work, and I must admit, the thought of it weighs heavily on my heart. I find myself wishing that this transition is tougher for me than it is for you. Can you believe it? Twelve weeks have flown by faster than I ever anticipated! I honestly thought re-entering the workforce after welcoming my second child would be easier, but it feels more challenging than before.
Emma, the time we’ve shared has been precious; I’ve cherished every moment of snuggling with you, Lily, and the special bond I’ve nurtured with you, Emma. With my second daughter here, I’m more aware than ever of how fleeting these early years are—once they’re gone, they won’t return.
As I prepare for this new chapter, I keep thinking about the well-meaning advice I’ve received. People say you’ll admire my dedication to work, that a little time apart might enhance the moments we share, and that many mothers work out of necessity. They say you won’t remember these early days and that you’ll be just fine while I’m away. While there might be truth in those words, it doesn’t lessen the difficulty.
I want you to admire my passion for my job, but I hope you never feel like I’m choosing it over you. As an assistant principal, I care for 600 other students, which I love, yet it’s hard to accept what I’ll be missing with you both.
Could your dad and I manage on a single income? Perhaps, but that would come with its own sacrifices, affecting what we can provide for you and placing an immense burden on him as the sole breadwinner. I want us to be the best parents possible and give you the life you deserve.
Despite my apprehensions, I realize how fortunate I am. You’ll get to spend time with your dad during the week, building your own special bond. He’s a truly wonderful father, supportive of my career ambitions. I also have a daycare provider I trust, family members who lend a helping hand, and a job I love at a school where you are welcomed and cherished.
You are surrounded by people who care deeply for you, so even when I can’t be there, I know you’re in good hands. Still, my heart wishes it could be me.
As I step back into my professional role, I want to make a promise to you both. When we are together, you will have my full attention. I will make the effort to disconnect from work, put my phone aside, and focus on our time as a family. Whether we embark on fun adventures or simply snuggle in our pajamas watching movies, I vow to be present because you both deserve that.
As I return to work, I hope that by the time you have children, if that’s your choice, our society recognizes that twelve weeks is far too little. I’m sorry that I can’t spend more time with you, but please remember that even when we are apart, my love for you never wavers. I work hard so that we can have a beautiful life together.
When I come home, I will shed all my other roles and just be your mama because, above everything, that is my most important job.
With all my love,
Mama
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