For as long as I can recall, I’ve held back on using my favorite things. As a child, I collected erasers, and when it was time for school, I’d pick a less cherished one to bring along, ensuring my prized possessions remained untouched. This pattern continued into adulthood, where I reserved my favorite clothes and accessories for a so-called “special occasion” that never seemed to arrive. Then, I was faced with cancer, and everything changed. I came to understand that waiting for the “perfect” moment might mean waiting indefinitely.
Recently, while preparing for a radiation treatment, I stood in front of my closet and realized I had been saving my best outfits for an occasion that never came. Time passed, and I found myself in a cycle of postponing joy. Why do we need a reason to wear what makes us happy?
During countless hours spent in medical facilities, I often wore ill-fitting gowns while waiting for appointments. I’ve undergone numerous procedures and treatments, all the while feeling like I was losing parts of myself. Why should I deny myself the small joys of life, even in how I dress?
I’ve experienced significant loss, including my hair and my health. I shouldn’t wait for some magical day to embrace what brings me happiness. Life is fleeting and fragile, and if we keep putting off joy, we may never experience it.
I thrive on order and organization, but life rarely follows a script. Instead of waiting for joy to happen, we should actively create it. Each week in the chemotherapy chair, surrounded by others facing their battles, I was reminded of the urgency of living fully. The reality is that none of us can predict tomorrow, and many around me might never finish their treatments. This stark truth helped me realize that I should actively shape my life to honor my presence here.
What truly makes you happy? What brings you joy? We often neglect these questions, telling ourselves we’ll address them later. It’s essential to recognize the beauty within our true selves and to celebrate it daily.
I don’t intend to sound morbid, but my experiences have taught me the importance of embracing life’s fragility. I don’t want anyone to wait for a day that may never come to enjoy what they have. That would be a heartbreaking waste.
If you’re interested in more about the journey of home insemination, check out this post on pregnancy news. For authoritative advice on artificial insemination, visit Make a Mom and explore resources like the CDC’s ART information.
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