You find yourself awake at 3 a.m. with a baby who refuses to go back to sleep. At 4 a.m., there’s an unfortunate bed-wetting incident. Your 4-year-old is kicking you in the ribs, and the baby has managed to wake up a record eight times throughout the night. Now it’s 7 a.m., the kids are starting to stir, and you must muster the energy to parent. You feel utterly sleep-deprived, as though you could pack for an extended trip with the dark circles under your eyes. The light is painfully bright, and the sounds of crying are giving you a headache. You would sell your soul to a minor deity for just a few more minutes of sleep, but alas, parenting waits for no one.
Start with Comfort
First, dress for comfort. Slip into some yoga pants and a T-shirt, and consider a sleep bra to keep everything in place. Let’s be honest—you’re not going anywhere today, so don’t bother with actual clothes.
Fuel Up
Next, brew some coffee. While it’s percolating, grab a quick bite—perhaps a banana or some Cheerios. You’ll need to balance your caffeine intake with some food to avoid feeling nauseous. It’s essential to pace yourself; for every two cups of coffee consumed, make sure you eat something to stay upright.
Breakfast Time
Once the kids wake up, prepare a “picnic” breakfast in front of the TV. Muffins or toast are ideal, as they are easy and less messy (unless you have a dog, in which case, cereal is your best option). Don’t forget drinks—water is best for easy cleanup—along with napkins.
Pro Tip
Here’s a pro tip: I have a personal rule that I won’t engage in serious parenting before 9 a.m. on mornings like this. This gives you a guilt-free window of screen time. Queue up “Puffin Rock” or “The Magic School Bus” on Netflix. Let the kids munch on breakfast while you enjoy some much-needed couch time. If they try to cuddle up next to you, shift to a smaller seat. If they persist, suggest they build a pillow fort on the floor instead. You might have to clean it later, but the short nap is worth it.
Creative Time
At 9 a.m., it’s time to engage with your children, but keep it minimal. Bring out the crayons and stickers for a creative session on the living room floor. You’ll likely receive constant interruptions as they showcase their masterpieces. Encourage their creativity by asking questions about their drawings, even if you can’t tell whether it’s a dinosaur or a pirate ship. This is parenting in its simplest form.
Depending on your little ones, this creative moment may last anywhere from a quarter of an hour to an hour and a half. When they’re done, it’s time to give them some quality attention. Refill your coffee cup and announce it’s story time. Your children will joyfully bring you books to read aloud. Keep that coffee flowing, and they’ll feel valued without requiring too much energy from you.
Free Play
Next, initiate some free play. Start by pretending to be hibernating bears or suggest a game of ‘Quiet Game,’ which may quickly lose its appeal unless there’s a marshmallow prize involved. Eventually, they’ll tire of these activities, so encourage them to play independently while you ignore the sounds of chaos coming from their rooms. Focus on your coffee and maintaining your sanity.
Lunchtime
When lunchtime rolls around, keep it simple with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. This is a staple meal that’s filling and packed with protein, minimizing snack requests later (although they will still request snacks). Serve lunch at the table since peanut butter can be messy.
Movie Time
After lunch, create a movie theater experience! Pop some popcorn and dim the lights. Choose a longer film, or consider a double feature. You deserve this time to rest while they are entertained.
Art Session
Following the movie, it’s time for some watercolor painting. Set up the paints at the dinner table and take a moment to admire their art. You are facilitating creativity, a hallmark of good parenting! Watercolors can keep even the most restless child occupied for a solid half hour, after which cleanup will be necessary.
Winding Down
As the day winds down, drink another cup of coffee to ease into the dreaded cleanup. Encourage your children to tidy up with some playful singing or light-hearted threats. You can supervise from a comfortable position, guiding them to pick up toys and return items to their proper places.
Dinner Time
Dinner should be pasta—a hot meal that requires minimal effort. Keep the TV on during dinner, and don’t turn it off until bedtime. After the kids are tucked in, you have the option to take a shower or just hit the hay. Given your exhaustion, sleep will likely be your choice.
Congratulations! You’ve made it through another day of parenting.
Tomorrow is a fresh start.
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