Parenting Insights
After a brief hospital stay for a minor procedure, I walked into my home to find it in complete disarray. A pair of dirty socks lay on the stool, surrounded by various large shoes cluttering the kitchen. The countertop featured a blender and air fryer, both sticky from previous use, and the sink overflowed with unwashed dishes.
Before my surgery, I had meticulously cleaned the house, run the dishwasher, and done all the laundry, hoping to make my recovery period easier. Clearly, I misjudged my son’s willingness to help out while I was away.
The throw pillows from the couch were scattered on the floor, and a pile of gym clothes was left on the dining room table. When my son finally came downstairs, he barely acknowledged my presence. He didn’t inquire about my surgery; instead, he launched into his own plans for the day before speeding off, music blaring.
In that moment, I felt a surge of frustration. I wanted to chase him down and express my disappointment in his lack of consideration. My partner even offered to intervene, but I opted to discuss the situation with my son later.
My mood shifted when my other two kids returned home, greeted me warmly, and asked how they could help. Eventually, I talked with my older son, and his father did too. He apologized, showed genuine concern, and asked about my well-being.
This experience highlighted that even at 18, there’s still work to be done in teaching him empathy and kindness. He can often come off as self-absorbed, seemingly oblivious to the needs of others. Once a highly attuned and compassionate child, he’s become distant and forgetful of those around him, likely due to the whirlwind of adolescence.
To many, including myself at times, he seems inconsiderate. He can be curt, moody, and unaware of how his actions affect others. It’s disheartening to witness his lack of compassion, especially when simple gestures like holding a door open or acknowledging a sibling’s birthday go unnoticed.
Despite the challenges, I refuse to give up. It’s my responsibility as his mother to help him cultivate a sense of awareness about the world beyond himself. This requires consistent reminders, in-depth conversations, and relentless encouragement for him to see the bigger picture.
I often feel exhausted and question my own parenting choices, wondering where I might have gone wrong. While I can’t control his behavior entirely, I will continue to work on minimizing those self-centered tendencies for as long as necessary.
Most parents would agree that the ultimate goal is to raise compassionate children. To those also navigating the difficult journey of parenting, I see you. This is the toughest job I’ve ever had.
If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out this blog post.
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