My Children Are Growing Up, and All I Want Is to Spend Time With Them

When my kids were little, being with them all day was both a challenge and a joy. It was exhausting; they all needed my attention simultaneously. Getting up each morning to change diapers, dress them, and ensure their happiness was the toughest task I’ve ever faced.

I chose to be a stay-at-home parent. My partner, Mark, would have supported any decision I made, but being there for my kids was a passion of mine—this commitment never wavered, even during the days when I felt overwhelmed or just wanted to escape.

However, every mom needs a break from time to time. It’s a misconception that we should want to be with our kids every moment. We are individuals with our own interests, relationships, and aspirations. Taking time for ourselves allows us to be better parents.

This past year, though, I’ve noticed a significant shift. My kids are now 17, 16, and 14, and all I want to do is spend time with them. When friends invite me out for lunch or shopping, I find myself lacking the desire to go—unless the kids are at their dad’s and won’t be home.

I try to schedule appointments around their work or plans. The urge to seek escapes from motherhood has faded away, replaced by an overwhelming desire to soak up every moment with them.

Every minute is precious, and I’ve found that many of my previous interests have taken a backseat. Spending time with my kids during these fleeting days is so vital that it overshadows everything else. I recognize that this phase will eventually pass. While I understand the importance of having a life outside my children, right now, I find joy in planning my activities around them since my time with them is limited.

They’re busy with their own lives—school, friends, and hobbies occupy their time. The moments we share at home, free from errands and obligations, are few and far between. I prefer to be present with them rather than rushing off to lunch or classes. Those activities that once helped me through long days of motherhood no longer hold the same appeal.

My kids are older, more independent, and often occupied in their rooms, pursuing their own interests. This isn’t a sacrifice; it’s a conscious choice. Each moment spent with them is a treasure, invigorating me more than my former outlets ever did.

I’m not certain if this newfound feeling is a result of the pandemic, the realization that they’ll soon move out, or if something deeper is at play. I’ve questioned if it could be depression or withdrawal from my previous life where I actively sought out time with friends. But now, my longing is solely for time with my kids. I feel fulfilled and at peace, happy to immerse myself in their lives.

I’m even eager to wake early for workouts or spin classes before they rise because that means more time with them. I know their busy schedules provide me with breaks, and I want to make the most of the time we share.

Good friends will understand that friendships can ebb and flow over time. My hobbies and love for shopping alone will always be there. Right now, the priority is spending every possible second with my kids, and that’s more than enough for me.

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Summary

As my children grow older, I find myself wanting to spend every moment with them rather than seeking out social engagements or personal hobbies. This shift in focus highlights the importance of cherishing our time together as they approach independence. My fulfillment comes from being present with them, making every second count during these fleeting years.