You Don’t Need to Subject Your Toddler to Potty Training Bootcamp

When my twins arrived, I found myself juggling three little ones in diapers. The chaos, the cost, the odors, the hassle of dressing and undressing—it was overwhelming. Despite my disdain for diapers, I never felt compelled to rush my children into potty training. I had heard tales of parents who trained their toddlers as infants by interpreting their body language to get them to the toilet just in time. I also knew of parents who simply stripped away the diapers and forced their kids to use the toilet. No, thank you. I was told not to stress about my kids mastering the toilet. “You’ve never seen a college student in diapers, right?” Well, that’s a bit narrow-minded; I went to Penn State and witnessed quite a bit.

My approach to potty training was laid-back, and I allowed my children to take the lead. While I did have a bit more urgency with my son, since preschool required him to be potty trained and he wasn’t quite there, I never enforced a strict potty training regimen. And you don’t have to either. Here’s some advice from someone who has successfully transitioned out of diapers.

They Need to Be Ready

The saying “you can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink” applies here. Kids, especially toddlers, can be incredibly obstinate and will assert their independence. If your child shows no interest in using the toilet or prefers the comfort of a dirty diaper, forcing the potty training process is likely to lead to frustration for both of you, not to mention the extra laundry.

Fortunately, my oldest began to show interest in potty training just as her siblings were born. Daycare had introduced her to mini toilets after diaper changes. We bought a small potty and encouraged her to try it at home. Pull-ups helped for a while, but what truly motivated her was picking out her own underwear. As she learned to use the potty, she didn’t want to ruin her favorite pairs.

During the initial weeks, I would gently remind her to use the potty or suggest she try if it had been a while since her last attempt. I occasionally used treats like M&Ms as incentives, but I never forced her to go. Sure, there were accidents and anxiety, but we avoided power struggles.

Find the Right Potty and Method

We tried different mini potties, but my daughters didn’t enjoy the splashes, so we got a seat insert for the regular toilet, which worked well. I placed a step stool in front to help them climb up and down easily.

My son was hesitant about the big toilet and disliked the splashing of the smaller potties. We started by having him sit on the closed toilet lid to get comfortable. Then, he tried the seat insert while fully clothed, and gradually, we moved to sitting naked while he held my hands. Teaching him to aim was a process that involved a few mishaps, but he was eager to learn. Pooping took longer and a few pairs of underwear were sacrificed, but he figured it out eventually. He simply wasn’t ready for an intense three-day potty training bootcamp.

You Might Encounter Setbacks

Potty training can be a tough journey, but it’s essential that your child is willing to participate or at least motivated to give it a try. Kids should never feel reprimanded for accidents or setbacks. According to Rebecca Parlakian, a child development expert, “They learn new skills through practice and repetition and opportunities to fail.”

It’s normal for children to regress or have accidents, especially due to factors like constipation, new siblings, or anxiety. Remaining calm and supportive is key to building their confidence. Always keep a spare set of clothes on hand.

Patience is essential during this significant transition. Some kids might be ready to start potty training as early as 18 to 24 months, while most are ready by age three. Every child is unique, and unless they are prepared to part with their diapers, it’s going to be a struggle.

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