As someone who doesn’t fit the typical mold of what’s deemed acceptable in body image, I have my reservations about the mainstream body positivity movement. I’ve expressed these thoughts previously and will likely continue to do so. It’s disheartening that much of the “body positive” content gaining attention seems focused on comforting already conventionally attractive individuals, particularly cisgender, heterosexual white people, about their supposed flaws. A lot of the content I encounter is average-sized individuals reassuring others in the same category that they’re not really “fat,” often by showcasing skin folds or stretch marks.
This movement has its roots in the fat liberation movement of the 1960s! It intersects with feminism and racial justice, aimed at uplifting marginalized bodies, advocating for equal pay, better healthcare, and changing the dialogue surrounding fat bodies and health. Unfortunately, those who need support the most often find themselves excluded from this narrative.
Men, in particular, frequently find themselves overlooked in the body positivity discussion, which is unfortunate. While it’s widely acknowledged that women generally face more unrealistic beauty standards—expected to be thin, youthful, and adhere to nearly impossible beauty regimens—the truth is that men also grapple with insecurities about their bodies.
Licensed professional counselor and body positive creator Alex Reed, MA, LPC, understands this struggle intimately. He leverages his platform to promote mental well-being and advocate for body acceptance from a unique perspective—a mid-size man in the mental health field.
“A lot of people with thin privilege and beauty privilege use body positivity as a way to expand their platforms. I’m not dismissing anyone’s experiences, but the reason they receive attention is often tied to that privilege,” Alex explains.
While he acknowledges that he sometimes benefits from thin privilege, his mid-size body provides him with insight into the exclusion and judgment faced by those with larger bodies, as well as the practical challenges, like shopping for clothes.
“For me, I’m not straight-sized, but I’m not large either. I’ve experienced being bigger and smaller. When searching for a crop top for a themed video, I had to scour the internet and ended up finding one on Etsy for $40 due to ‘extra fabric,’” chuckles Alex, reflecting on his mid-size clothing journey. “I’m stuck in between sizes, where things are either too small or way too big.”
During his time as a high school athlete and theater enthusiast, Alex faced missed opportunities due to his larger physique. “I was often told I’d be perfect for lead roles if only I lost weight. They’d say, ‘You have the perfect voice and energy, but you wouldn’t fit with the lead.’ Coaches cared more about my appearance than my athletic ability,” he recalls. “I’ve battled multiple eating disorders. I remember being just ten years old and hearing from family and coaches that I needed to lose weight.”
At home, Alex faced a lack of support, with family members often criticizing his body without providing the tools or knowledge to enact change. This led to intense shame and no empowerment to reconcile with his body. “The start of my body positivity journey involved fixing my relationship with food and understanding its purpose. As a therapist, I know that coping mechanisms and celebrations should not overlap because it confuses our minds,” he elaborates.
Alex is open about his feelings of unworthiness. “It didn’t matter how small I got. Even at a 32-inch waist, I found faults—this sags here, that doesn’t look right. I would obsessively take pictures of myself, zooming in,” he remembers. “I was encouraged by friends in fitness who were unaware of my struggles. They didn’t know that I was battling disordered eating.”
Support for his body image issues was scarce, even from family. When Alex opened up about his eating disorders, he was dismissed because of the belief that boys don’t face such struggles. This fuels his passion for sharing his experiences from a male angle. “It’s societal, communal, and familial,” Alex explains. “Men’s experiences in body positivity can be overlooked, but they face their own challenges.”
As a member of the queer community, Alex has observed body negativity patterns in LGBTQ+ spaces. “In our communities, attractiveness is often modeled after superhero ideals, which are unattainable for most in a healthy way. These ideals are rooted in heteronormative standards,” he states.
He hopes for a shift in this narrative. “Live authentically, and embrace your body as it is. If you want to change it for yourself, that’s your choice, but it shouldn’t stem from a desire for love or acceptance,” he emphasizes. “You shouldn’t have to suffer to feel worthy of your space in the world.”
Alex passionately reminds everyone that genetics play a significant role in body shape. Not everyone can fit into the Hollywood mold, and it’s unfair to believe that unmet standards only affect women. Men, too, experience disappointment over their perceived flaws.
“Healthcare professionals will tell you that dangerously low body fat isn’t healthy. The idea that less fat equates to better health is misleading!”
In advocating for body positivity, Alex is mindful to not overshadow women’s voices. “I fully support women and their contributions to the body positivity movement. It’s reshaping perceptions of women beyond just their looks,” he states. “But men also deserve a place in this conversation.”
In conclusion, while women dominate the body positivity dialogue, there’s a need for male representation as well. “I’m okay with women leading this space, but it can be challenging to find male voices. I want to be that voice.”
For more insights into body positivity and its implications, check out this other blog post on related topics. Additionally, if you’re interested in fertility options, consider exploring this kit for further information. For more on genetics and IVF, visit this resource.
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- Body positivity for men
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Summary:
Licensed counselor Alex Reed emphasizes the importance of body positivity for men, sharing his personal experiences with body image issues and the societal pressures that exist. He encourages a broader understanding of body acceptance that includes men’s experiences and stresses that everyone deserves to feel worthy in their own skin.
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