Many individuals are increasingly sharing their pronouns on work badges, email signatures, and social media profiles, albeit with varying degrees of comfort. By openly stating our pronouns, we signal how we wish to be addressed and acknowledge that assumptions about identity based on name or appearance are not appropriate. Gender identity is complex, and the journey of self-discovery can be deeply personal. This practice of pronoun sharing isn’t limited to transgender or gender nonconforming people; cisgender individuals should also feel empowered to express their pronouns. This not only cultivates an understanding of diverse gender identities but also normalizes expressions that transcend traditional stereotypes.
Utilizing Multiple Pronouns
Now, let’s discuss individuals who utilize multiple pronouns. This may sound challenging, but it can be a rewarding endeavor.
Understanding the use of multiple pronouns is essential. Individuals might share pronouns such as he/they, she/they, or they/xe, for example. While I can’t speak for everyone, many transgender and genderqueer people opt for multiple pronouns for various reasons. Each person’s experience and identity are valid and personal.
For instance, some people embrace multiple pronouns to reflect their multifaceted identities or experiences. As Taylor Johnson (they/he) explains, “Using both they/them and he/him reflects my connection to masculinity and my gender identity.” Others may be experimenting with their pronouns during a transition phase, helping them gauge how they feel when addressed in different ways. It’s not uncommon for someone to feel validated when their pronouns align with their identity.
Some individuals list multiple pronouns to create a safer space for themselves. For example, while someone may prefer they/them pronouns, they might also include she/her to accommodate others who may misgender them. It’s a means of self-care when navigating social interactions.
Navigating Pronouns
So how can you navigate this?
Start by learning how to use gender-neutral pronouns before meeting someone who uses them. Websites like Minus 18 offer valuable resources for understanding and practicing neopronouns, enhancing your comfort with their usage. Engage with literature featuring characters who utilize these pronouns to become familiar with their context.
Additionally, don’t hesitate to ask individuals which pronouns they prefer. A simple question like, “I noticed you use multiple pronouns; which one would you prefer I use today?” shows respect and a willingness to affirm their identity.
If you’re unfamiliar with a specific pronoun, expressing that you’re still learning can be helpful. For instance, “I see you use they/xe; I’m not familiar with xe. Is it alright if I use they for now?” This demonstrates your commitment to honoring their identity.
Lastly, remember that pronouns do not replace names—addressing someone as “Dear they/them” in an email is incorrect. When referring to someone using multiple pronouns, you wouldn’t say, “Jordan is stuck in traffic. They/he are late.” Instead, you would simply say, “They are stuck in traffic.”
Conclusion
In summary, affirming someone’s identity through their pronouns is a beautiful way to validate their existence. With practice, kindness, and respect, you can support those who use multiple pronouns in their journey of self-expression.
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