As parents, we can all relate to the feeling of watching a child miss out on a birthday party while their peers celebrate. We often notice the kid on the playground who is left alone and wonder who will reach out to include them. This same sense of exclusion is felt by gender non-conforming (GNC), transgender, and non-binary kids and their families during National Sons and Daughters Days. These days can feel like a reminder that some children are left out of the celebration.
Dana, a mom from Austin, Texas, has 14-year-old twins—one identifies as a cisgender male, while the other is non-binary. “I don’t understand the need for gender-specific celebration days,” she states. “We should be loving and supporting our children all the time. If you’re not doing that, a national holiday isn’t going to change anything. For families who have lost a child, these days can unexpectedly trigger pain. And for those with non-gender conforming kids, it adds unnecessary stress.”
Born from National Take Your Daughters to Work Day, these gender-based “holidays” seem to reflect our culture’s tendency to categorize children. While the intention is to encourage family bonding, the reality is that many children feel overlooked. Cat, a mother from San Diego with a 13-year-old trans son, shares, “I didn’t realize how exclusionary society’s insistence on the gender binary was until my child came out as trans. The first National Sons and Daughters Day after that was a stark reminder of how we don’t fit in.”
Celebrated on August 11th, National Sons and Daughters Day encourages families to spend quality time together. Meanwhile, National Daughters Day is on September 25th, and National Sons Day follows on September 28th. These events often flood social media, especially after mom Jill Nico helped them go viral in 2018, aiming to promote the importance of sons taking care of their parents.
However, the reality is that these celebrations inadvertently leave out a significant portion of the population. The nonprofit Kids Center reported in 2020 that 51% of children identified as male and 49% as female, excluding countless children who don’t fit into these categories. Approximately 2 million Americans identify as non-binary or GNC, and they remain unrecognized during these occasions.
What drives the popularity of these national holidays? It may stem from a societal tendency to pause and appreciate our families. If we’re going to endorse such days, let’s ensure they are welcoming to all identities. We must acknowledge that we are still learning about those who identify outside traditional norms, and we cannot allow our ignorance to leave any child behind.
We could strive for a society that embodies the acceptance seen in shows like “Schitt’s Creek,” where all identities are embraced. It’s time to reimagine holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day to include children who don’t identify strictly as sons or daughters. By doing so, we can create a more inclusive environment for all families.
Through researching and writing this article, I’ve gained a new perspective on these holidays. I am thankful for the families who shared their experiences, and I now see the need for a more inclusive celebration of all children, including those who are non-binary, transgender, or GNC. Everyone deserves recognition and acceptance.
For additional insights on the impact of social media on family dynamics, check out this blog post. If you’re looking for resources on home insemination, Make a Mom is an authority on the subject. For more information on pregnancy, visit the NIH website.
Summary
National Sons and Daughters Day and similar celebrations can inadvertently exclude gender non-conforming, transgender, and non-binary children and their families. Many parents express concerns about the lack of inclusivity in these holidays, highlighting the need for a broader understanding and acceptance of all identities. By rethinking how we celebrate these occasions, we can create a more inclusive environment for all children.
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