The other night, I was lying in bed mindlessly watching TV when my partner came in, switched off my show, and dimmed the lights. He then pulled out his phone and started a guided meditation session, encouraging deep breaths in and out. I attempted to join in, lying still with my eyes shut. To an outsider, I likely seemed peaceful, but inside, I was anything but. My breathing was uneven, my heart raced, and I could feel my legs trembling. My mind was racing with thoughts, and I was on the brink of a panic attack.
I realize how odd this may seem; meditation is often hailed as a tool for relaxation and calmness. However, no matter how many times I’ve tried—whether in different positions or with varying audio—I’ve found that focusing on my breath only intensifies my anxiety. Instead of finding tranquility, I end up sweating, shaking, and feeling overwhelmed. For me, silence becomes a source of dread, amplifying negative thoughts that tell me I’m not good enough or even worse.
The reality is, I’m not alone in this struggle. Research from Coventry University indicates that about one in twelve people who attempt meditation experience adverse effects, including heightened anxiety and depression. “For most people, meditation works well, but it’s not a universal remedy,” explains researcher Miguel Farias. He notes that some individuals face increased anxiety or even panic attacks during meditation. I can relate; when I try to quiet my mind, the negative chatter only grows louder.
Additionally, a 2017 study from Brown University found that many meditators report feelings of fear and panic. Even meditation instructors recognize these potential side effects. “Sometimes the effort to quiet the mind can backfire, leading to increased anxiety,” says psychologist Katie Sparks.
While these studies have their limitations—often relying on self-reported data from smaller sample sizes—they highlight an important truth: meditation isn’t for everyone. For me, I’ve opted to step back from meditation for now. Instead, I focus on coping strategies that truly benefit me. I run extensively—often logging over 30 miles a week—and I meet with my therapist regularly. In times of crisis, I reach out for support, and I take medication when needed, free from guilt.
If meditation works for you, that’s wonderful. Keep practicing. But if it leaves you feeling worse, it might be time to reconsider its place in your routine. Understanding what suits your mind and body is crucial.
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Summary:
Meditation can sometimes lead to heightened anxiety rather than relaxation, as experienced by many individuals, including myself. Research suggests that a significant number of people may suffer from increased anxiety and panic attacks during meditation. It’s important to find coping mechanisms that work for you, such as physical activity or therapy, instead of forcing practices that worsen your mental state.
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