Yesterday morning, I made a decision I hadn’t planned on—I brought all four of my children with me to my psychiatrist appointment. Typically, I treat these visits as sacred moments dedicated to my own well-being, similar to how I approached my prenatal checkups. This time is usually about focusing on myself without the added responsibility of ensuring my children behave appropriately in a clinical setting.
To be candid, I also dreaded the thought of explaining to my kids why I was visiting a psychiatrist. Questions like “Will I need to come here too, Mom?” or “Why do you keep coming back if you feel okay?” made me anxious. I didn’t want to delve into those conversations because they made me feel vulnerable and somewhat ashamed.
Ironically, I’m the same woman who openly discusses her experience with bipolar disorder and advocates for breaking the stigma surrounding mental health. I’ve participated in interviews about my journey and co-edited a widely recognized mental health anthology, yet here I was feeling hesitant. I feared my children might see me as perpetually flawed, especially knowing that these appointments are a lifelong commitment. Although I am grateful for the medication that supports my mental health, it often leaves me feeling somewhat inadequate, as if I can’t achieve happiness without assistance.
This week, I recognized that my reluctance to bring my kids along wasn’t merely about convenience; it was also about my desire to shield them from the uncomfortable aspects of my mental health journey. When my usual childcare options fell through and time was running out, I faced a choice: cancel the appointment or take the kids with me to the psychiatrist.
In the end, perspective played a significant role in my decision. The financial penalty for same-day cancellations weighed on my mind, but it wasn’t the primary reason for bringing my children along. I realized that to truly combat the stigma surrounding mental illness, I needed to model openness for my kids. By exposing them to this part of my life, I could normalize mental health care and demonstrate that seeking help is a common necessity.
As we entered the waiting room, my sons exhibited courteous behavior, holding doors open and engaging with others, much like they would in any medical office. It’s vital to challenge the negative stereotypes often associated with mental illness; not everyone grappling with these issues fits the extreme portrayals often depicted in popular culture. By demonstrating that seeking help is a routine part of life, especially for those who may one day find themselves in need of similar support, I hope to instill a sense of normalcy around mental health care.
During my appointment, my children accompanied me into the nurse’s room for my weight check and discussion of symptom management. To my surprise, they chimed in when asked about my sleep patterns and irritability, offering some amusing yet truthful insights. They even joined me in the doctor’s office, expressing their delight at the comfortable seating and answering questions directed at them. As we left, their hugs for the nurse and doctor exemplified their warmth and acceptance of the situation.
I want my children to understand that anyone seeking assistance for mental health issues is bravely confronting their challenges. To dismantle stigma, we must unmask the realities of those who live with mental illness, and I see this as a small yet meaningful step in that direction.
Moreover, I considered the impact of my children’s presence on other patients in the office. Their friendly demeanor seemed to ease the usual tension that accompanies mental health visits. While I ensured they maintained good manners, I also allowed them to express themselves, creating a more relaxed atmosphere.
Many individuals prefer to wait in their cars until the last moment before entering a mental health facility, often trying to avoid being seen. This behavior starkly contrasts with visits to other medical offices, where patients don’t feel the need to hide their conditions. It’s essential to foster a culture where seeking help for mental health is as accepted as seeking treatment for physical ailments. Honest dialogues about mental health can help eliminate the shame associated with it.
I hope that anyone living with mental illness feels empowered to have open conversations with their loved ones about their experiences. Doing so not only provides a deeper understanding of your journey but also encourages those around you to seek help when needed and support others who may be on a similar path.
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