In a fleeting moment, my supervisor transformed one of the most challenging experiences of my life into a memory that has profoundly shaped me. The overwhelming pain I felt — both physically and emotionally — lifted, and I could finally breathe again. Though I remained sad, I also felt a deep sense of thankfulness, hope, and gratitude.
During my teenage years, I equated a good boss with someone who would help me find coverage for missed shifts. In my twenties, a good boss was one who facilitated my career advancement. Now, as a mother in my late thirties, I’ve come to realize that a truly great boss is so much more than that.
In March, I experienced my first miscarriage after three healthy pregnancies, which was utterly devastating. I took a sick day, spent time in bed, visited my doctor, and mourned quietly, sharing my pain only with immediate family and a few close friends. Their support — checking in, visiting, and sending flowers — was invaluable. Yet, returning to normal life felt surreal, as if I could just pretend everything was fine while I was still hurting.
Time went on, and work continued. My husband and I decided to try again. I hoped, I wished, I prayed. On National Rainbow Baby Day, I saw the faint double line on a positive pregnancy test, feeling as if the universe was signaling that this time would be different. However, a week later, I began to bleed again. I hadn’t even had enough time to experience significant pregnancy symptoms or dream about names, but I had felt a glimmer of hope.
This miscarriage felt different from the first. I was more aware of what was happening, even feeling a bit foolish for my previous confidence. Just like before, the bleeding started on a Sunday, but this time, I didn’t take a sick day. I woke up, wiped my tears, and got ready for work.
While going through my day, my supervisor glanced at me and gently asked, “Are you okay?” I assured her that I was fine and tried to move on, but she paused and insisted, “I’m telling you to take the rest of the day off. You should only stay if this is a distraction from whatever is on your mind.”
In that moment, I could finally breathe again. I felt seen. She didn’t know I was miscarrying, nor did she pry for details. She saw me as a person, not just an employee clocking in hours. Despite my efforts to mask my pain, she perceived the truth.
I chose to stay at work, partly because I genuinely needed the distraction but also because I wanted to show my appreciation for her kindness. Her simple question and gesture made me feel valued, and it created a safe space for me to process my emotions and begin healing.
That day taught me a valuable lesson. While anyone can be a good boss — fair, supportive, and responsive — it’s rare to find a true leader who prioritizes the person over the employee.
There are easy days and difficult days. Some days, I navigate life as if everything is normal, while other days bring waves of sadness as I remember my two babies. It’s difficult because no one can define how you should feel or cope with pregnancy loss. Each journey is unique, even if shared with others who have experienced similar pain. I have endured two miscarriages in the last seven months, and each required its own process of grieving.
That day at work revealed the power of true leadership. It can inspire and help people cope and move forward. I appreciated having the option to leave without fear of judgment. My supervisor’s simple inquiry, “Are you okay?” provided me with the relief I desperately needed, and I will always be thankful for her compassion.
For more insights on this topic, check out this related blog post. If you’re looking to enhance your fertility journey, consider visiting Make A Mom, an authority on fertility supplements. For excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit the CDC.
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- How to cope with pregnancy loss
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In summary, my experience with my supervisor’s compassion during my pregnancy loss taught me the true meaning of leadership. It reminded me that feeling seen and supported can make a significant difference during difficult times.
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