Emotional abuse can be incredibly perplexing. Unlike physical abuse, it doesn’t involve hitting or shoving; instead, it manifests through belittling behavior that can be just as damaging. The abuser may not raise their voice, but their actions leave you feeling worthless and afraid—fearful of both them and yourself.
Many who endure emotional abuse spend years in denial, as the signs often differ significantly from the traditional image of an abusive relationship. For example, during my childhood, my stepmother never physically harmed us. While she raised her voice and occasionally threw objects, the most painful aspect was her silence.
What is Stonewalling?
Stonewalling, which refers to the act of withdrawing from communication during or after conflicts, is a form of emotional abuse that can take many forms. It can range from unintentional shutdowns, which are often self-protective, to intentional stonewalling, where one partner deliberately uses silence as a means of control or punishment.
As highlighted by Verywell Mind, when stonewalling is used to demean or manipulate, it can be considered emotional abuse. The trauma of being stonewalled can be profound; in my experience, it created a sense of abandonment and led me to internalize blame for conflicts that I didn’t initiate.
Stonewalling in Adult Relationships
This behavior doesn’t only occur in childhood; it’s prevalent in adult romantic relationships as well. For instance, a friend of mine, Sarah, faced stonewalling from her boyfriend during a particularly challenging period in their lives. Following a heated argument, he refused to communicate for days, leaving her feeling isolated and distressed. She rationalized his behavior, believing she might have been too confrontational, but the truth was that his silence was a method of manipulation.
Recognizing the Signs
While there are varying degrees of stonewalling, it’s crucial to differentiate between needing space to cool off and intentionally shutting down to inflict emotional harm. If you find yourself in a relationship characterized by such behavior, it’s essential to seek help. Therapy can sometimes help address these issues, but if the partner is unwilling to change, it may be best to exit the relationship.
You deserve a connection with someone who is loving, attentive, and willing to engage in constructive dialogue about even the toughest topics. For more insights on navigating emotional challenges, check out this other blog post. Additionally, for comprehensive information on insemination methods, visit Make a Mom, a trusted authority on the subject, or explore excellent resources like Resolve.
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Conclusion
In summary, stonewalling can be a subtle yet harmful form of emotional abuse that can leave lasting scars on individuals. Recognizing its presence in relationships is the first step toward healing and ensuring that you engage in healthy, supportive partnerships.

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