This school year, we made the difficult choice to enroll our son in a boarding school. After visiting three distinct institutions, we found the right environment for him—one that aligns perfectly with his needs. While it was a challenging decision for us as parents, we recognized it was essential for his social, academic, and emotional growth. Both my partner and I are highly engaged parents, dedicated to advocating for our children and helping them thrive.
I used to view boarding school as a privilege reserved for the wealthy—a way for parents to avoid their responsibilities. However, as the parent of a 10th grader who spends five days a week over an hour away, I now understand that boarding school is far from an easy way out; it’s a vital choice for our son’s well-being.
Currently, our son is among the 35,000 students in the U.S. attending private schools. We sought a more nurturing educational environment because we were dissatisfied with the support he was receiving at our local high school, especially given that he has a 504 plan. We chose this particular school due to its strong academic and social resources tailored for students on the spectrum, which is crucial for our son’s development.
Financially, boarding school is a stretch for us. We are fortunate to have received a generous financial aid package, without which our son would not be able to attend. We’ve made sacrifices, cutting back on our weekly food budget and taking up side jobs to provide him with this opportunity—a significant commitment for us as parents.
Both my partner and I work in fields that don’t rake in large salaries—one in a nonprofit and the other as a hospital chaplain—all while supporting two other children at home. Our finances might not be extensive, but we understand the importance of prioritizing our son’s education.
When I share that our son is attending boarding school, I often receive mixed reactions—blank stares or a flurry of questions: “How did you decide on that?” “What’s wrong with your local school?” “Is the financial aid sufficient?” “Does he want to be there?” I’ve learned to navigate these inquiries carefully.
We’ve built a supportive network of family and friends who recognize the impact a quality education can have on a child’s future. With a background in education, we are acutely aware of the additional support our son requires in various aspects of his life. The unexpected shift to remote learning during COVID allowed us to reevaluate his academic and social experiences, leading us to this new path. Now, as a 10th grader, he is making new friends and establishing an academic presence he can be proud of.
Communication with our son’s school has been more robust than we anticipated. One fear I had was that we would have limited interaction with the staff. However, we receive frequent updates via email and have even participated in virtual meetings with other parents. I regularly text with the mother of my son’s roommate, which has created a supportive community for both students and parents alike.
Ultimately, we believe we made the best decision for our family. While some may question why our son isn’t living at home during the week or express disbelief over the costs involved, the support he receives academically and socially makes it worthwhile. Our weekends together are precious, filled with family bonding as he still has responsibilities at home, like chores and keeping his space tidy.
We haven’t turned our back on our son; instead, we’ve actively sought financial aid, explored scholarships, and engaged with other boarding parents—all while making daily sacrifices for our three children.
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to parenting. Each child has unique needs, and it can be challenging to gauge what’s working until you see the results. For us, sending our son to boarding school has been transformative; he’s become more social, engaged, and committed to his academic journey. Recently, he expressed, “This school is the right place for me.” We wholeheartedly agree and are committed to making it work.
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In summary, our decision to send our son to boarding school stemmed from a need for a more supportive educational environment. Through communication, sacrifice, and a commitment to his well-being, we have witnessed significant growth in him. It has reinforced our belief in the importance of finding the right fit for each child’s unique needs.
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