12 Sleep Strategies That Might Actually Help

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It’s not easy to admit, but nearly every conversation I have starts like this:

Other Person: Hey, Olivia! How are you?
Me: I’m absolutely drained. How about you?

I’m tired for countless reasons. I have kids. We share our space with pets. My mind races non-stop. As a self-proclaimed neat freak, while others unwind with a good show or a book in the evening, I’m busy scrubbing the fridge or organizing game pieces so they all face the same direction. My partner snores, our neighbors argue frequently, and there’s a flock of the most obnoxious birds outside my window that sing their loudest from dusk until dawn without a hint of consideration for anyone trying to sleep.

Health magazines and websites suggest my sleep issues could stem from thyroid concerns, midlife hormones, insufficient exercise, dehydration, poor diet, or too much stress and caffeine. They might not specifically mention massages, but let’s be real—who doesn’t fall into a deep sleep when they’re paying someone to pamper them? Surely, there must be a solution out there.

So I consulted my trusty friend Google, and here’s what I discovered after yet another search for a “guaranteed sleep solution,” because surely something must exist. Unfortunately, many suggestions were as helpful as telling me to “just get more sleep”—an idea that makes me want to roll my eyes. Here’s a look at some expert recommendations I encountered:

  1. Avoid alcohol before bedtime. I’m not sure how drinking earlier would improve my sleep, but I’m open to testing it.
  2. Manage stress levels. Oh, really? I’ll just quit my job, stop planning for the future, and give my kids away. That sounds rejuvenating.
  3. Install blackout curtains. As someone who rises before dawn, I’m skeptical, but I’m always up for a redecorating project, especially if it promotes better health.
  4. Limit exercise at least three hours before sleep. If that’s what they say.
  5. Have a small snack before bed. A mini-meal rich in carbs and protein may help trigger serotonin production in the brain. Since I love grilled cheese, this one is definitely on my list to try.
  6. Don’t overindulge in snacks. Going to bed too full can lead to restlessness. Clearly, these experts have never experienced the bliss of overindulging during Thanksgiving dinner.
  7. Restrict daytime naps. Seriously? The last time I napped was years ago after a terrible stomach bug. Thanks for the insight, sleep specialists.
  8. Unplug your clock. How would I know how late it is, or how little REM sleep I’d get if I fell asleep right now?
  9. Avoid sleeping with your phone under your pillow. Noted.
  10. Steer clear of bright lights before bed. So you’re saying I shouldn’t light up the house like a Christmas tree in preparation for sleep?
  11. Limit caffeine intake. Refer back to the “avoid bright lights” suggestion.
  12. Maintain good sleep hygiene. This means sticking to a consistent sleep schedule, even on weekends and vacations. Thankfully, my insomnia doesn’t check the calendar, so I instinctively do this!

In conclusion, sometimes you just have to let go and accept that sleep may remain elusive. The next time you find yourself staring at your alarm clock, why not take a chance on your partner instead? Fifty bucks says that might just lead to a more productive day ahead.

For more information on related topics, check out this excellent resource on fertility and explore other insights on home insemination kits, like the 18-piece kit or Cryobaby’s options.

Summary: In this article, we explored various sleep tips that range from the pragmatic to the absurd. While some suggestions, like avoiding alcohol and managing stress, seem straightforward, others feel impractical for the everyday person. Ultimately, we must find humor in our sleepless nights and recognize that sometimes, a little spontaneity might just lead to a better tomorrow.


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