I met my closest friend, Emily, during college in 1993 when we were randomly assigned as roommates. She hailed from New York, and her accent instantly reminded me of my relatives from my mom’s side. While she preferred to sleep in, I was up early doing my workouts before classes. Emily often sported flannels and hats, while I enjoyed dressing up in skirts and dresses.
She was a bit apprehensive about our living situation, but I felt at ease. I sensed that she embodied a sense of comfort I had longed for, especially as I was eager to escape my hometown. Nearly thirty years later, we have navigated a myriad of life’s challenges together: breakups, poor choices, home purchases, pets, children, family disputes, and the inevitable need for a listening ear during tough times.
Emily has a remarkable ability to know exactly what I need to hear. She listens without judgment, never displays jealousy, and treats me as an equal, understanding that we both make mistakes and deserve compassion. There’s never been a moment when I’ve felt worse after talking to her; rather, she lifts me up and reflects the best version of myself.
When her father passed away a few years ago, Emily fell into a deep depression. Our communication dwindled, but I understood the depth of her grief and respected her need for space. I wanted to be the friend she needed, even when it meant stepping back. Although I recognized that this was not about me, I felt a significant part of our friendship was missing during that time apart.
Emily is a constant presence in my life. I love her in a way that’s distinct from my feelings for my kids or my partner; it’s a unique admiration reserved solely for her. While I cherish my other friendships, none compare to the bond we share. I believe friendships like ours are rare treasures, and I value every moment of it. She is my soulmate, nurturing a piece of my soul that no one else can.
Though our relationship is non-sexual, she is undoubtedly my person. Some might refer to it as a romantic friendship, and if you’ve experienced one, you’ll definitely understand what I mean. The New Statesman describes it well: “Part of what is appealing about romantic friendships is being able to have the love and closeness associated with romantic relationships without the corresponding practical arrangements of sharing one’s day-to-day life with another person.”
This is what makes romantic friendships challenging to articulate; they differ from the relationships we have with spouses or partners, yet they carry a significance that surpasses even our closest friendships. There have been countless moments when we’ve had to confide in each other before discussing things with our spouses, parents, or siblings.
Our partners have even joked about our deep affection for one another, and we wholeheartedly agree. We are in love with each other, and our bond withstands the test of time, even during periods when we drift apart. It’s perfectly fine that others may not understand our connection; they don’t need to. I’m grateful for the romantic friendship we share, and she will always be my person.
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Summary:
In this article, the author reflects on their unique bond with a best friend, describing their relationship as a ‘romantic friendship.’ This bond is characterized by deep emotional support, understanding, and a love that transcends traditional friendship dynamics. The article highlights the rarity and importance of such connections, emphasizing how they enrich our lives.
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