After spending the entirety of 2020 alone with just my immediate family, I thought we had finally come up with a safe COVID plan for Thanksgiving this year. My husband, our teenager, my mom, my in-laws, and my husband’s siblings were all set to be fully vaccinated—except for our nine-year-old, who would only be a few weeks past his first dose.
We intended to be super cautious in the week leading up to Thanksgiving. We could go to school, work, and the grocery store, but always with masks. No hanging out unmasked with anyone outside our household. Then, on Thanksgiving morning, everyone would take an at-home rapid test to ensure safety.
Everyone was on board, and I thought we were in the clear. That is, until my mom (who is even more cautious than I am about COVID) called me. She mentioned seeing on social media that one of our guests was planning to attend a concert just a week before our gathering. The concert took place at a bar/restaurant—definitely questionable mask behavior. Yes, this person was vaccinated, but still… I assured my mom that the concert was a week out and that this person promised not to attend any more unmasked events afterward. But my mom remained anxious, reminding me that our youngest son has asthma and wouldn’t be fully vaccinated yet.
After the call, I stared at the calendar and began researching COVID incubation periods. I messaged my friend, who is a doctor, for reassurance. Then, I sat down on the couch and cried. “I just can’t do this anymore,” I blurted out.
I’m exhausted. This pandemic has dragged on for almost 20 months, and it feels like I haven’t had a moment’s break from risk assessment. I’m tired of analyzing every single family outing, trying to weigh risks against benefits. I remember early on, I was uncertain whether it was safe for my kids to walk in our apartment building or play in our shared backyard. The summer before September 2020 was all about deciding whether to send my kids back to school. And I went through the same turmoil last summer.
In between, there were playdates (masked outside? Inside with masks?), birthday parties, family gatherings, and even trips to urgent care. What happens if COVID numbers rise? Are we still okay with dental appointments? As vaccines became available, I still worried about unmasked visits with grandparents. Staring at risk assessment charts and graphs has become exhausting.
Even after most of us got vaccinated, life remained confusing. My younger son remained unvaccinated, and we’ve stuck to our cautious approach. He’s had serious asthma issues in the past, so the last thing I want is to bring the virus home. Even when he is fully vaccinated, I doubt decision-making will become any easier. The thought of missing school or work for ten days due to a breakthrough infection is daunting. What if we expose someone vulnerable? And don’t get me started on the fear of long COVID.
It’s overwhelming, especially since I seem to bear the brunt of these decisions. My husband is supportive and follows guidelines, but I’m the one making the calls. I’m just done. It feels like it’s affecting my ability to make even basic decisions, like whether to order take-out or buy a fancier holiday gift.
So here I am, battling serious ‘risk assessment fatigue.’ Everything related to the pandemic and life in general seems to be triggering tears. I know I’m not alone—many parents, especially moms, are feeling the same way. It helps to know I’m not the only one, but man, does it still suck.
Can someone please wake me when this pandemic is over? Until then, can someone else take over all this decision-making for me? I’d really appreciate it.
If you’re looking for support in your journey, check out the Make a Mom site for at-home insemination options, including their reusable kits. You can also join the Make a Mom Facebook group for community help. For more information on how at-home insemination works, take a look at this link. And if you’re curious about fertility boosters for men, this resource is worth exploring. For an in-depth understanding of intrauterine insemination, visit this NHS resource. Lastly, for related content, check out this blog post.
In summary, the pandemic has left many of us feeling drained and overwhelmed, especially when it comes to making health-related decisions for our families. We need a break from the constant weighing of risks and benefits and the emotional toll it takes.
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