I’m the proud mother of three boys, and no, I’m not planning for a girl. This isn’t due to a lack of desire for a daughter; rather, I’ve decided that my family is complete. Having three children in under 3.5 years was quite enough for us. I often find it exhausting when people inquire if we’re hoping for a girl as soon as they learn we have “only” boys, as if my family is somehow lacking without a daughter.
When my partner, Alex, and I contemplated starting a family, we never specified a preference for the gender of our children. Our discussions revolved around how many kids we felt comfortable raising, not whether we wanted a certain mix of boys and girls. Initially, we thought we might want four kids, but ultimately, three felt just right for our family.
Throughout my pregnancies with my second and third sons, we never entertained the notion of stopping if one turned out to be a girl or continuing if the baby was another boy. It seemed fundamentally wrong to me to look at a newborn and think, “Oh no, another boy. Let’s try again.” I had to reconcile the fact that I might not have a daughter, a realization that initially surprised me, but I was never disheartened by my sons. If I had a girl alongside my boys, I would undoubtedly cherish her, but I’ve never wished for any of my sons to be anything other than who they are. At this stage, I’m completely satisfied with my family dynamic and don’t consider the possibility of adding another child.
When people suggest that we should attempt to have a daughter, it frustrates me. It implies that our family is incomplete without a child of each gender. If we were to consider having another baby, I can only imagine how pregnancy hormones would intensify my irritation at comments like, “I hope it’s a girl.” During my last pregnancy, I sometimes wanted to reply, “If it’s not, do you want him? I’m only having a third to try for a girl,” just to highlight the absurdity of such remarks.
I do not feel deprived by having “only” sons, nor do I believe a little girl is necessary for a complete family. My boys are incredible, albeit a bit wild at times. I adore them and love the experience of being a boy mom. My family is whole just as it is.
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In summary, having all boys does not diminish the joy or completeness of my family. I embrace my role as a mother to three wonderful sons and firmly believe that our family is perfect just the way it is.
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