I think we can all relate to pushing our work into what’s supposed to be our downtime. You know, sending a quick text or replying to emails when we should really be relaxing. But for some of us, it’s more than just a habit. Take my partner, for instance—he’s completely consumed by his workaholic tendencies.
Back in 2020, he faced job loss due to COVID; his position was furloughed in May. Although we managed to keep our health insurance, I’m a stay-at-home mom with a modest freelance gig, which just doesn’t cut it for a family of six. Thankfully, he had a significant side hustle he was already passionate about, and the timing seemed right for him to take the plunge and make it his full-time gig.
At first, it felt like a necessity. With a mortgage, tuition, and all sorts of bills piling up, he dove headfirst into this venture. His business began to flourish, especially during the pandemic when many were at home. He was fortunate in that regard, but his hunger for success turned into something more. He became glued to his phone, responding to leads and messages at all hours, even when it cut into family time.
Our Sunday dinners have turned into business calls, especially since his clients are in different time zones—like Australia, which makes our dinner their Monday morning. Initially, I didn’t mind because I was scared of losing everything. But as things stabilized financially, I started feeling frustrated. Surely, he can’t work every single moment of the day, can he?
From the moment he wakes up, he’s buried in emails. I’m guilty of checking mine too, but I usually wait until I’ve had my coffee and dropped the kids off at school. For him, it’s an immediate reaction—nothing can wait. Texts, calls—it’s all urgent. And because he’s made himself so accessible, clients expect him to be on call 24/7, which has created some real challenges. I hate seeing him miss our kids’ events because he’s glued to his phone.
Recently, he mentioned wanting a smartwatch, and I was like, “Absolutely not!” I can’t imagine how much worse it would get with constant notifications buzzing on his wrist. He’s become absorbed in making money, and although it’s nice not to worry about bills, I’m concerned about the cost to his health and our family life. He’s become addicted to “providing,” and if he’s not working, it feels like he’s failing.
This obsession is taking a toll on him emotionally. He feels overwhelmed, his sleep is disrupted, and he’s a different person now. The stress isn’t healthy, and it scares me. Being self-employed is a tough gig, and while I understand the pressure he feels, I wish he could find some balance. I want him to know that I appreciate his hard work, but he needs to take a breather before he burns out.
I worry about what this relentless pace could do to him. It’s frightening to think about men his age facing health issues. He’s not exactly a fitness enthusiast; he’s more of a coffee-and-candy kind of guy. I’m trying my best to be supportive without nagging, which can sometimes blur together. I just want him to understand that no one ever wishes they had spent more time at work. The kids are growing up fast, and I don’t want him to have regrets. Those “Dad, watch me!” moments are fleeting and precious; I wish he’d realize that the texts can wait.
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In summary, my partner’s workaholism is taking a toll on our family life, and I’m genuinely concerned about his health and well-being. Finding balance is essential, and I hope he realizes that sometimes, it’s okay to take a step back.
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