“Pizza it is!” I shouted as I drove home from picking up the kids. My husband, Jake, was on his way home from work, and there had been a little mix-up about who was supposed to thaw the meat for dinner. Before either of us could say sorry, I had switched our dinner plans, and he happily replied, “On it!”
It was just an ordinary Tuesday night. As we gathered around the table, I looked at Jake, who was cracking up at a terrible knock-knock joke from our oldest, and a memory from my teenage years suddenly flashed in my mind.
Back in high school, my mom had a demanding job that often kept her busy and stressed. One evening, just as my dad was starting to cook dinner, Mom came home looking utterly exhausted and defeated. I was at the table doing homework when I noticed her weary expression. As she dropped her purse and keys on the counter, Dad turned off the stove and said, “Who’s ordering pizza? Your mom and I are going for a walk. Here’s $20.”
That night, we had pizza for dinner, and it seemed like an unremarkable evening. But now, years later, sitting at my own kitchen table with my family, I realized that those little moments shape who we are.
Growing up, we’re influenced by the relationships around us. Often, we focus on the grand gestures and think, “I want that,” or “I’ll never have that.” Some people react by becoming the opposite of what they saw, while others yearn for the love they grew up with. But it’s the subtle, everyday moments that stick with us, even when we don’t realize it.
My parents have been married for over 40 years. It would be easy to envy that longevity, but I’ve seen couples stay together just as long who were unhappy. Instead of longing for a long-lasting marriage, I began to appreciate the small details: the steaming cups of coffee they shared in the mornings, their cheers from the bleachers at our games, Dad handing Mom the cartoon section of the Sunday paper each week because it was her favorite, and their playful roles as chef and sous chef at family gatherings. I loved how they would take walks together or hold hands when one of them needed support.
So, when that memory hit me at dinner, I couldn’t help but smile. I recognized the little things that I didn’t even know I wanted and needed. They had quietly woven their love into my own marriage, filling me with joy and pride.
It really made me realize how vital it is to show my kids self-love and respect, modeling the kind of love I hope they find in their future relationships. I want them to be kind and respectful partners too. Those moments between my parents showed me that I needed a partner who could not only see me but also make me feel understood. I wanted someone who could recognize when I was having a tough day and help me move past it. Someone who would suggest ordering a pizza instead of stressing over dinner.
That night, our solution was simple—“Pizza it is”—but it meant so much more.
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In summary, it’s the small moments in relationships that often have the most profound impact on our lives and future partnerships. Recognizing and cherishing these experiences can shape the love we give and receive, creating a legacy of kindness and understanding for generations to come.
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