Vanessa Baker recently opened up about her complicated feelings regarding her own mother’s absence while discussing her journey into motherhood. Becoming a parent can be incredibly challenging, especially if you’ve had a rocky or non-existent relationship with your own parents. In a candid interview, Vanessa shared how her experiences shaped her parenting style and the emotional turmoil that came with it.
As a mother of three—Liam, 9, Mia, 6, and Noah, 4—Vanessa is navigating the ups and downs of parenthood, all while promoting her new book, Life From Scratch: Family Traditions That Start With You. Interestingly, her strained relationship with her mom played a significant role in the inspiration for her book. In one poignant moment, she recalls cooking a dish that triggered a rare happy memory of her mother. When a friend asked if the recipe had been passed down from her family, Vanessa had to admit, “That was a hard no.” This conversation sparked the idea for her book’s title: “She literally says, ‘Oh, so this tradition starts with you.’ And I was like, ‘Wait, what?’ I remember writing it down in my phone, thinking it needed to be in the title.”
Vanessa’s mother left when she was just nine years old, abandoning both her and her brother. They were then taken to South Carolina to live with their father and stepmother. While her mother initially visited, she eventually vanished, only reappearing to request financial help after winning a beauty pageant. “I remember wondering, ‘Is she going to come back?’ And then she didn’t,” Vanessa recalls, describing the painful feelings of abandonment she experienced as a little girl.
As Vanessa became a mother, she felt the impact of her own upbringing. “Without a mother to guide me,” she explains, “I found myself asking a lot of questions—like, ‘What do I do for my kid’s first birthday? Is there a tradition? Am I supposed to save their shoes?’” Over time, she learned that the core of parenting is about love. “As long as they feel loved, everything else will fall into place,” she shares.
Reflecting on her feelings toward her mother, Vanessa admits that becoming a parent made her angrier about her mother’s absence. “I can’t imagine ever just walking out on my kids,” she says. Many mothers can relate to the complexities of being shaped by their own childhood experiences, especially when dealing with a toxic parental figure. Vanessa is determined to create her own family traditions, hoping to find healing along the way.
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In summary, Vanessa Baker is navigating motherhood while confronting her feelings about her own absent mother. Her journey inspires many to find their own path in parenting, even when faced with challenging familial histories.
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