Let’s be real—how many of you have ever thought, “I could really use some parenting wisdom from Ben Affleck”? Probably not a single one of us. Affleck has been a fixture in Hollywood for nearly four decades, and while he’s had his ups and downs, we’ve recently found ourselves warming up to him again. That is, until we read his latest interview with the Wall Street Journal.
In discussing his new film, The Tender Bar, which is based on a memoir about a boy seeking father figures in a bar after his own dad isn’t there for him, Affleck shared some thoughts that felt pulled straight from a dusty 1950s parenting manual titled How to Raise Your Sons to Be Men Who Don’t Cry. Yikes.
Cringeworthy Parenting Advice
Here’s the cringeworthy part: Affleck stated, “It’s important to have two parents for the rearing and upbringing of a child. The most important thing to me is to be a good father. Boys need to be taught. How to behave, how to conduct yourself.” Deep breath—let it out. This perspective is older than the last can of beans in your pantry.
First off, let’s be clear: the idea that a child needs two parents to thrive is about as outdated as VHS tapes. Single parents—whether by choice or circumstance—can absolutely raise happy, healthy kids. Just check out some successful folks like Adele or Jay-Z who were raised by a single parent. No need to list them all here, but trust us, the evidence is everywhere.
Next, the idea that boys need a father to learn how to be good people is just as flawed. Girls don’t need mothers to be moral either. Seriously, you can almost hear the collective sigh from the LGBTQ+ community who are just tired of having to explain that love and support matter more than the gender of the parent. Research shows that kids raised by same-sex parents often do just as well, if not better, than their peers.
The Role of Male Figures
What about male role models? Well, it’s a mixed bag. While having involved fathers can be beneficial, the actual gender of the parent doesn’t seem to be the critical factor. Kids can thrive with uncles, mentors, or family friends, proving that a father figure doesn’t have to be a biological dad. Ironically, Affleck’s new movie emphasizes this very idea: that father figures can come from unexpected places.
In short, we don’t need Affleck’s outdated parenting advice, especially when it runs counter to decades of research. But hey, if he gets engaged to someone like Jennifer Lopez, we’ll still be intrigued.
Room for Growth
On a brighter note, Affleck did reflect on his past mistakes, expressing a desire to learn and grow. “There’s a lot that I would want my younger self to understand,” he said, highlighting his wish to avoid causing pain to others. We appreciate that sentiment and hope he might reconsider his views on parenting to include the diverse experiences of single and queer parents. While he’s at it, maybe he could check out resources like the UCSF Center for Pregnancy and Home Insemination for a more modern approach to family-building.
For anyone interested in exploring at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers great services, including a reusable insemination option, and you can learn more about how it works here. If you’re looking for a supportive community, check out the Make a Mom Facebook group for free sperm donor matching.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while Affleck’s insights may leave us shaking our heads, there’s always room for growth, and we hope he comes around to a more inclusive perspective on parenting.
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