Last weekend, while juggling my three kids, a well-meaning employee from Home Depot stopped us as we were leaving. She offered each of my children a full-size candy cane. Oh, how I wished I wasn’t wearing a mask; it helped me hide my forced smile as I mumbled, “Sure.”
Honestly, what was I supposed to do? My kids spotted her basket brimming with those hook-shaped treats and were all too excited to get their hands on yet another candy cane. Saying no would have made me look like a total Grinch.
Now, I hate to sound like a Scrooge, but I really don’t like candy canes. More precisely, I dislike the tough, industrial-strength plastic wrapping that requires a minor excavation effort just to reach the actual candy. I wanted to ask that helpful employee if she had a spare box cutter to make my life a little easier. Instead, I find myself in the front seat of my minivan, desperately trying to break into the candy with all the finesse of a frustrated rodent.
On the rare occasion, I’ve stumbled upon a candy cane with a perforated wrapper, and I often question if they were just a figment of my imagination. Have I ever been able to identify the brand or get my hands on these elusive, crunchy delights? Nope. They’re like the unicorns of the holiday season. Perforated wrappers are the Bigfoot of candy canes—everyone claims they exist, but who’s actually seen one?
December is officially candy cane season, and they’re everywhere! It seems everyone thinks, “What do little kids want? A long stick of peppermint candy wrapped in a plastic fortress that could survive a meteor strike!” The moment they hand these treats to my mostly helpless kiddos, I know who’s going to be stuck trying to unwrap them without causing a meltdown — that’s right, me. Three times over. Every single time.
I could let my kids struggle like I did back in the ’80s, but isn’t part of parenting about saving our kids from the struggles we faced? What kind of mom would I be if I tossed the candy canes in the back seat and said, “Good luck, kiddos”?
Seriously, how do these companies expect us to get into these things? Are they just for decoration? I now understand why my mom used to hang them on the Christmas tree. She wanted me to think they were ornaments so I wouldn’t ask her to open them every five seconds!
And it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if peppermint was the only flavor available. But no! We’ve got all sorts of fruity flavors and even chocolate options now, and guess what? Every last one of them is just as hard to open. I can’t wait for Valentine’s Day when I can blissfully unwrap a Hershey’s kiss with its flimsy foil.
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In summary, candy canes are everywhere this season, and their wrappers are a real challenge. As I navigate this holiday season with my kids, I can’t help but wish for a simpler way to enjoy these festive treats without the struggle.
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