As the new year rolls around, we often hear the familiar mantra of “new year, new me,” with a strong focus on weight loss and body transformations. However, there is a stark difference between wanting to lose weight and obsessing over altering your body to the point where it disrupts your life. This unhealthy fixation has a name: body dysmorphia.
You might wonder, what’s the big deal if someone wants to change their appearance? It’s their choice, after all. But the line between wanting to be fit and living with body dysmorphic disorder is significant. According to the Mayo Clinic, “Individuals with body dysmorphic disorder overly focus on their looks and body image, frequently checking mirrors. This perceived flaw and repetitive behaviors can lead to major distress and hinder daily functioning.”
It may sound exaggerated, but for those living with it, this struggle is all too real. We often critique parts of our bodies, and society pushes us to feel inadequate if we don’t meet certain beauty standards. It’s easy to view body dysmorphia from the outside, but experiencing it is an entirely different challenge. I want to share my personal journey to shed some light on this issue.
My Journey with Body Dysmorphia
During my preteen and teenage years, I was heavily influenced by the #thinspo and #ana movements, not fully grasping how harmful they would be. For those unfamiliar, “ana” refers to anorexia, and “thinspo” means thin inspiration. I spent years glorifying an eating disorder and the pursuit of an unattainable ideal.
I created a massive collage of images to motivate myself, right in front of my full-length mirror. Every time I looked into that mirror, I reminded myself that being thin was my only goal — more important than any treat I craved. I wanted to be someone’s “thinspiration.”
After I had my children, I thought I was on the mend, pouring my energy into motherhood. But slowly, the body dysmorphia crept back in. Even after getting in the best shape post-baby, all I could see were my perceived flaws — a wobbly stomach, untoned arms, and legs that seemed shapeless.
The Battle and the Path to Recovery
When healthy eating and exercise didn’t yield the results I craved, I turned to more dangerous methods to shape the reflection I wanted to see. I rationalized my choices, even as I felt disgusted every time I looked in the mirror. I swapped breakfast for three cups of coffee, and lunch was often just a can of Diet Coke and some lettuce. Dinner? I usually skipped it. My workouts were my time to escape, while I prepped meals for my family.
Over three months, I lost 35 pounds. To those around me, it was a significant change, but I remained blind to it. Each time someone complimented my progress, I felt rage. How could they not see my flaws?
If any of this resonates with you, I encourage you to seek help. It’s easy to overlook changes when your mental health is in turmoil. I often wish I could show people my perspective during that time, as now, looking back at old photos, the transformation is clear. Thankfully, with the support of my doctor and therapist, I’ve made strides in overcoming body dysmorphia. Yes, I gained back that weight and then some, but I’ve also gained invaluable insights about self-love and acceptance.
I still face challenges and must consciously counteract negative self-talk. It’s all about finding balance, and I’m still on that journey.
Take a moment to reflect on your body image. Do you see it as a vessel to cherish, or do you feel shame and disgust? Is your inner dialogue empowering, or is it harmful? Struggling with body image, low self-esteem, and depression is more common than you might think, especially given societal pressures. If you relate to these feelings, please don’t hesitate to reach out for support.
Living with acceptance and appreciation for your body is achievable — and it’s what we all deserve.
For those interested in starting a family, you can join a supportive community at Make a Mom Facebook Group or check out Make a Mom for at-home insemination options, including the Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit. And for more information about the home insemination process, visit How It Works. For those looking for additional resources, March of Dimes offers excellent information about pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Body dysmorphia is a challenging mental health condition that impacts how individuals perceive their bodies, often leading to unhealthy obsessions. While societal pressures can exacerbate these feelings, it’s crucial to seek support and practice self-love. There are resources and communities available for those navigating these struggles.
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