In the past year, I’ve known several people who have gone through the experience of an abortion, whether medical or surgical. If you’re reading this, chances are you either know someone in a similar situation or you might be that person yourself. According to the Guttmacher Institute, about 1 in 4 women will have an abortion by the time they reach menopause, making it a more common experience than many realize.
If you’re fortunate enough to be a trusted friend, please avoid sticking to cliché phrases or, even worse, judgmental comments. Our society often polarizes the subject of abortion, but we can shift the conversation one supportive interaction at a time. Here are seven ways to be there for a friend who’s had an abortion.
1) Be There
In today’s world, especially during COVID, being physically present can be tricky. If you’re close enough, your company can be incredibly comforting. Whether you’re driving them to appointments or simply texting to check in, your support matters. Sometimes, sharing endless cat memes or funny gifs from shows like The Office might be just the distraction they need.
2) Listen Without Judgment
You don’t need to have all the right words; sometimes, the best thing you can do is listen. Whether their choice was straightforward or laden with emotion, let them express their feelings. Create a safe space for them to navigate their thoughts and emotions, which may be complex and sometimes even conflicting.
3) Give Advice Only When Asked
Avoid saying things like “Everything happens for a reason” or “I’m sorry,” which can come off as judgmental. Instead, offer supportive statements like “I’m here for you” or “Your feelings are valid.” It’s important that they don’t feel judged, especially when they might already be facing enough scrutiny.
4) Assist with Research
Navigating the ins and outs of abortion laws and clinics can be overwhelming. Offer to help find reputable resources. Check out The National Abortion Federation for a list of trusted clinics. You can also find helpful insights at Make A Mom for those considering at-home insemination options.
5) Offer Practical Help
If your friend is open to it, practical support can be a huge relief. Offer to help with expenses or daily tasks, like watching their kids, running errands, or even providing meals. A BabyMaker at Home Insemination Kit could be a thoughtful gift if they are considering this route.
6) Respect Their Privacy
Keep your friend’s situation confidential. It doesn’t matter how much you help; you’re not entitled to know their inner thoughts or decisions. Allow them the space they need to process everything.
7) Just Ask What They Need
It may seem obvious, but simply asking them what they need can be effective. If they’re unsure, that’s fine too! You can suggest specific options to make it easier for them to express what they might require.
In the end, every individual is unique, so tailor your support to fit your friend’s needs. Whether it’s through joining a supportive community like Make A Mom or exploring options for home insemination, remember to be the ally they need.
Summary
Supporting someone through the experience of an abortion requires empathy, understanding, and respect for their privacy. By being present, listening non-judgmentally, and offering practical help, you can make a significant difference in their healing process. Tailor your support to their individual needs, and don’t hesitate to ask how you can help.
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