When you welcome a new baby into your life, you dream big for them. They become your heart and soul, and the way they gaze up at you with those innocent eyes is enough to melt anyone’s heart. As your little one grows into a joyful, lively child, you imagine that their life will always be filled with laughter and love. You picture them showering friends and family with hugs and kisses, sharing toys, and lending a hand to a sibling in need. You think that nurturing spirit will stay with them forever, right?
Unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case in my household. Somewhere along the way, my sweet child transformed. Instead of the delightful little comedian who could light up a room, I now find myself dealing with a grumpy, self-absorbed version of them. They rarely show empathy and seem oblivious to the chaos they create. They’ve adopted a mindset that they are the most important person in the house, dictating everything from what shows we watch to what’s for dinner. It’s like they think they have a monopoly on decision-making, which doesn’t fly in our family where everyone is equal.
I can’t shake the feeling that I might be raising a narcissist. While they don’t check every box, there are enough concerning traits to make me uneasy. I often worry that if things don’t change, they could grow up to be someone that people find hard to be around. No parent wants that for their child, but the current trajectory has me genuinely worried.
Have you ever met a fun-loving, lovable narcissist? I haven’t either.
I know how narcissism manifests in adults, but what does it look like in kids? Am I overreacting, or should I genuinely be on alert? I did some digging and found a few signs that made me sit up and take notice:
- An inflated sense of self-worth (check)
- Difficulty making friends (yep)
- Always needing to be the center of attention (that one too)
- Lack of empathy (always)
- Rarely saying thank you or showing gratitude (sounds too familiar)
However, some traits didn’t align…
- Not letting others play with them for shallow reasons (nope)
- Disrespecting authority (only at home, not at school)
- Expecting others to meet unrealistic standards (not really)
- Being jealous of others’ success (they seem indifferent)
So what’s the verdict? Is my child actually a narcissist, or is it something different? To get some clarity, I consulted with professionals since they already see a counselor and psychiatrist for ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder.
The specialists suggested that while narcissistic personality disorder is rare—affecting only about 6% of the population—having narcissistic traits isn’t uncommon, especially in teenagers. However, they cautioned that the number of concerning behaviors at such a young age is something we need to keep an eye on.
What can I do to steer them in a healthier direction? It’s all about instilling empathy and reducing self-centered behavior. Teaching compassion is key, and one suggestion was to introduce a family pet, as caring for an animal can help nurture empathy. Sometimes, spending time with younger children can also encourage a more nurturing attitude. It sounds a bit unconventional, but it’s a starting point.
I also learned that I need to stop cleaning up their messes. If they upset a friend and miss out on a social event, it’s not my job to step in and apologize. They need to face the consequences of their actions. It’s tough, but understanding that their behavior has real-world effects might encourage them to change.
I want to be clear—despite my worries, I love my child deeply. I was there for every milestone, from their first crawl to their first day of school. They used to say “I love you” every single day. Now, if I were to stumble, they might not even check if I’m okay. Reconciling that shift is incredibly challenging for me as a mom.
Nonetheless, I refuse to give up. I care too much about their future. With continued effort, both at home and with professional guidance, I hope to help them develop the skills they need for positive relationships and a successful life.
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In summary, parenting can be a rollercoaster ride filled with ups and downs. While I’m worried about my child’s behavior, I’m committed to helping them learn compassion and empathy. With the right support, I hope to guide them towards a brighter future.
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