We hear it all the time: 50 is the new 40, 40 is the new 30, and so on. It’s become somewhat of a cliché to say that aging doesn’t carry the same weight it used to. Many people argue that our current generation is trendier, fresher, and seemingly “younger” than those that came before us. But honestly? I’m not so sure about that.
I genuinely believe that being in your 40s is the new being in your 20s, but for reasons you might not expect. I definitely don’t feel younger or more vibrant than I did back in my 20s. I’m pretty sure I’m not even considered “hip” anymore—whatever that means. In fact, I’m not even sure if “hip” is a word people still use unless they’re talking about something medical. That should tell you how far removed I am from the cool crowd.
Yet, here I am, comfortably nestled in my 40s, and oddly enough, I experience some of the same emotions I had in my 20s. It’s not due to a sense of youthfulness or carefree living. I’m not still rocking the same old band T-shirts or bootcut jeans from back then. Instead, I feel that familiar mix of angst and confusion, combined with a strange optimism—just like I did in my early 20s. Excitement and anxiety swirl together, and I still have zero time for nonsense.
There was a time when I felt pressured to conform, but now? I’ve had enough. I’m a grown woman, and I’m not here for anyone’s games. Much like my 20s, there’s this odd feeling of being in limbo. Back then, it was the shift from school to a career; now, it’s about evolving through different life stages. I’m transitioning from one job to another and from the physically exhausting phase of parenting young kids to navigating more complex issues with teenagers. It’s a different type of exhaustion—late-night conversations about friendships, social media pressures, and the ever-changing landscape of parenting.
Even while facing these daunting uncertainties, I still catch a glimpse of that confident, “I-can-handle-anything” attitude. In my 20s, that confidence stemmed from naivety; now, it’s rooted in life experience. It’s grounded in empathy, resilience, and the lessons learned from heartbreak. While the world around me may feel unstable, my belief in myself has grown stronger.
Yet, beneath this newfound confidence, there’s a persistent confusion that echoes the uncertainty of my mid-20s. I often feel like everyone else has it all figured out, while I’m just stumbling through. I hide behind a facade of confidence, hoping no one sees the doubt lurking beneath. Questions plague me—Am I a good parent? Am I raising kind and responsible kids? Am I living a meaningful life? Am I even happy?
This confusion makes sense in a way. We’re stretched thin, juggling work commitments, kids, aging parents, friendships, and marriage. Do others feel like they’re failing at everything? Most of us are either too overwhelmed or too scared to talk about it. In my 20s, I buried these questions under the demands of a high-stakes job and nights out with friends. Now, I distract myself with work, my kids, scrolling through social media, and binge-watching shows.
That confusion, loneliness, and the questions about life? They’re still there.
Being in your 40s is also about having zero tolerance for nonsense. The downside is that this intolerance makes us acutely aware of how prevalent it is everywhere. I might not have the same naive ideals, but my expectations are higher and my patience is thinner, which leads to disappointment—often. I’m feeling frustrated, maybe even enraged. Is it hormones? The challenges we face as a society? Or just the general frustrations of life? Probably a mix of all of the above.
So yes, 40 is definitely the new 20. This decade mirrors the earlier one with its transitions, a newfound confidence that says “I don’t care,” and that familiar sense of confusion. It’s a time of optimism, impatience with bullshit, and, let’s not forget, that old DMB concert T-shirt still hanging in the closet.
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In summary, while being 40-something might feel like a repeat of being 20-something, the differences lie in the depth of experience and the complexity of life’s transitions. We may not have all the answers, but we’re navigating this journey with a blend of confidence, confusion, and a refusal to settle for anything less than genuine.
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