So, you’re going through a divorce or maybe you’ve already been through one, and that guilt is really weighing on you. Trust me, I totally get it. I’ve had countless nights over the last few years where I couldn’t shake the feeling of regret for not being with my kids’ father anymore. It’s tough, but I promise you can work through the guilt and stop feeling like you’re drowning in self-blame. Here are four tips to help you out.
- Recognize that relationships require effort from both sides. It’s important to remember that it’s never just one person’s fault. When guilt creeps in, it’s easy to go down the rabbit hole of self-criticism. And as time passes, you might find yourself romanticizing your past relationship—don’t fall for that trick.
- Avoid wallowing in self-blame. No matter what went down, blaming yourself won’t help anyone. It will only keep you stuck and upset, which is the last thing your kids need. You deserve to move forward, and your children need you to be present and happy.
- Embrace the lessons learned from mistakes. Life is all about growth, whether you’re married or not. Just like you outgrow clothes and trends, you’ll evolve as a person. Mistakes are part of that process. You can either let guilt control you, or you can see your divorce as a chance to truly explore what you want in life.
- Your kids thrive when their parents are happy—together or apart. It’s true! Staying together for the children can lead to a home filled with tension. Kids pick up on that vibe, and they’d rather see you happy and pursuing a new chapter in your life. Show them that it’s okay to prioritize your own happiness.
Feeling guilty during a divorce is completely normal, but remember to allow yourself to feel it without dwelling on it for too long. The more compassion you show yourself, the easier it will become to release that guilt.
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In summary, dealing with guilt after a divorce is tough but manageable. Remember, it’s a shared responsibility in relationships, self-blame won’t help, mistakes are a path to growth, and your happiness positively impacts your kids.
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