Today was one of those magical days when you get to go shoe shopping—something my son Noah absolutely dreads, while I can hardly contain my excitement. There’s something so fun about finding the perfect pair, right? But this time, I was especially mindful of Noah’s feelings as we wandered through the aisles.
As we approached the shoe section, I noticed we would first pass the “girls’” racks. Sure enough, as we walked by, Noah’s face lit up when he saw the sparkly pink and purple shoes. His little body leaned toward them instinctively, but then he hesitated and continued on toward the “boys’” section instead. I asked him a few times if he wanted to check out the colorful shoes, but he seemed too shy to express what he really wanted.
In the boys’ section, he tried on shoe after shoe, but each time, he shrugged and muttered, “They’re okay, I guess.” It was clear he wasn’t happy. It struck me how early we start to learn what is “acceptable” for us and what isn’t. Even in our home, where we don’t put limits on colors or styles, the world can still influence our kids.
As I watched him, I remembered a line from Glennon Doyle’s book Untamed: “Ten is when we learn to be good girls and real boys.” Noah was already feeling that pressure, and I realized I was letting it happen. I thought about the internal fears that crept in—what if he gets made fun of? What if his friends don’t understand? But then I asked myself a crucial question: What if he thinks I’m trying to tame him?
That thought was enough for me to act. I dashed around the corner and found the sparkly, holographic high tops he had been eyeing. I hoped they had his size. When I returned, I exclaimed, “Look what I found in your size!” Suddenly, the mood shifted. There were smiles, laughter, and pure joy on his face as he realized he could wear what he truly wanted.
We tossed those beauties into the cart and even picked out a second pair of pink and black shoes for indoor fun. Noah left the store buzzing with excitement, already planning an outfit to match his new kicks. It wasn’t just about the shoes; it was about challenging societal norms and allowing him to express himself freely.
In the new song “Young Man” by The Chicks, they sing, “You’re of me, not mine. Walk your own crooked line.” That’s my role as a parent—to support Noah in being himself, to ensure he knows that his mom and dad are always in his corner. One small act of defiance at a time, we can show our kids that they’re not meant to fit into a mold, but to find their own happiness.
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Sometimes, it really is about taking that leap and letting our kids be who they are.
Summary
A mother reflects on a recent shoe shopping trip with her son, Noah. Despite societal pressures to conform, she encourages him to express his individuality by letting him choose sparkly shoes instead of settling for traditional “boy” options. This experience highlights the importance of challenging norms and supporting children in being themselves.
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