You’re Never Prepared for the Various Phases of Parenting

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I haven’t seen my oldest child, Jamie, in five days, even though he’s still living at home. Whenever I ask him a question, I get nothing in return. His room is a disaster zone, and he looks annoyed when I try to engage with him about his life. Honestly, I’m just not ready for this stage of parenting.

Back when he was in middle school, he went through puberty and became this quiet stranger. It was as if he was grappling with a whirlwind of emotions. He transformed from a little boy who adored spending time with me to someone I barely recognize. I definitely wasn’t prepared for that stage of parenting.

Then there’s my daughter, Lily, who faced a tough time with friendships when she hit middle school. She cried often, and every time I attempted to help, she seemed so irritated with me that I felt totally helpless. I was not ready for that stage of parenting either.

And don’t even get me started on my youngest, Max. When he turned two, his tantrums became legendary. Grocery store meltdowns, hours of crying over small things—he absolutely hated bedtime and would toss his toys like they were grenades. Even with two kids before him, I still wasn’t ready for that stage of parenting.

When I brought my second child home from the hospital, my heart felt torn in different directions. I wanted to shower my daughter with attention, but I worried I was neglecting Jamie. The looks he gave me while I nursed Lily were enough to break me inside. I was not ready for that stage of parenting.

And let’s not forget the sleepless nights when Jamie came home from the hospital. He wouldn’t nurse, and despite reading all the books and taking advice from everyone, I felt completely lost and like a failure. I was excited about becoming a parent, but I truly wasn’t ready for that phase of my life.

When all three of my kids stopped believing in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, a wave of sadness washed over me. It hit hard to acknowledge that part of their childhood was over. I mean, I was definitely not ready for that stage of parenting.

Real Talk on Parenting

So here’s the real talk: every stage of parenting is tough in its own way. You’re never fully prepared for any of it. Just when you start to settle into routines and embrace your kids’ new behaviors, they change again. You’ll always feel like you’re playing catch-up, but that doesn’t mean you’re failing as a mom.

During those challenging moments when you think, I wasn’t ready for this and I’m not handling it well, remember that you’re doing your best. That’s all your kids really need from you.

Resources for Starting a Family

If you want to explore options for starting a family, check out Make A Mom, a great resource for at-home insemination with the only reusable option available. You can also join the Make A Mom Facebook Group for support. And if you’re curious about the process, take a look at how at-home insemination works. Make sure to check out their at-home insemination kit as well, which is an authority on the topic. For further reading on fertility, visit UCSF’s IVF resource.

Conclusion

In summary, parenting is a journey filled with unexpected phases, and you’ll never feel totally ready for what comes next. Embrace the chaos and know that you’re doing your best!


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