Recently, my daughter hit one of those classic milestones: the obligatory small talk with the dentist while her mouth was filled with shiny, slightly intimidating tools.
“So, sweetie, what do you want to be when you grow up?” asked the dentist, clad in cheerful pink scrubs.
Gargle. Swish. A blink at the glaring overhead lights.
“I want to be a dentist,” my five-year-old mumbled, water dribbling down her chin.
It’s a question often posed to children, and it’s been on my daughter’s mind lately. Her quick response is just the latest in a long line of ambitious career choices she’s shared, some as unique as “Gumbo Chef,” inspired by a viewing of The Princess and the Frog. In her everyday life, she’s consumed with thoughts about various professions. However, she’s not weighed down by practical considerations; for her, the future is a canvas of endless opportunities. After the dental appointment, once the tools were put away, my daughter proclaimed, “And I also want to be a ballerina. And a teacher for babies. Do you have a baby who can come to my school? They have to be two years old. No diapers.”
Back at home, she sifted through her pile of toys to find the doctor/dentist kit her aunt gifted her last Christmas. She pulled out a gigantic red toothbrush and a set of horse-like teeth, enthusiastically practicing her newfound profession. It’s uncertain how she plans to juggle all these careers, but her determination is evident.
I recognize this phase all too well. The first time I met my second-grade teacher, the warm Mrs. Smith, I decided I would dedicate my life to education. After seeing a caricaturist at an art fair one summer, I spent my allowance on paints and doodled until my neck turned beet red. This exploratory stage is common for children, where they sample various roles to discover what truly resonates with them.
Yet, in many ways, I never quite left that phase. I have what you might call a “career hopper.” In my recent bio, I’ve listed titles like former Executive Editor, Managing Editor, and Design Director. My impressive list of “former” jobs includes barista, babysitter, hostess, computer programmer, and library clerk. After one questionable Craigslist ad, I was even a room organizer for a day. I still imagine a future where I return to school for counseling.
I suspect my daughter shares my fascination with possibility. There’s a certain magic in reshaping our lives with each new experience. While this non-traditional career path has its challenges—like my family now avoiding asking what I do for a living—the current climate of frequent job changes has made it more common than ever. People are shifting careers for various reasons: bad treatment, better pay, or evolving passions. Choosing a job can feel akin to finding a life partner; not everyone finds the perfect match on the first try.
I’ve been fortunate, with privileges like higher education and a supportive partner, providing me the safety net to explore my interests. But this isn’t the case for everyone.
Sometimes I ponder the frequent question we ask children: What do you want to be when you grow up? This query implies a direct link between identity and occupation. However, being a dentist, ballerina, or teacher is not a person’s essence; it’s merely a job. Through my diverse career experiences, I’ve learned I remain fundamentally the same person, equipped with new skills and perhaps some extra baggage. At my core, what drives me is a passion for learning and a desire to push beyond my comfort zone. Instead of asking kids what they want to be, we might consider asking them what they want to learn. What excites them? How do they wish to spend their days?
I may not be the best role model for stability, but that’s okay; my daughter will glean those lessons from other sources. I hope to instill in her a sense of possibility, encouraging her to take bold leaps and embrace new adventures. I wish for her the good fortune and creativity to pursue her chosen paths. If she happens to discover her “Forever Job” right away, she’ll likely have some wisdom to share with me in return.
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Summary: We often ask children what they want to be when they grow up, but this question may not capture their true essence. Instead of linking identity solely to occupation, we should encourage them to explore their interests and passions. My own experiences have shown me that the journey of discovering one’s path is filled with possibilities and learning, and I hope to inspire my daughter to embrace this idea, regardless of where it leads her.
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