When my daughter was just a toddler, she innocently inquired about her baby brother’s anatomy during bath time, asking, “Why does he have a tail? His front butt doesn’t look like mine.” I did get their permission to share this amusing story, and they still find it hilarious. However, reflecting on that moment, I realize how poorly I had educated her about body parts, consent, and reproductive health. I’ve spent years trying to correct this, to the point where “it’s MY body!” has become a clever way for her to dodge chores or hygiene.
Yet, there’s one critical topic I haven’t addressed with my kids: abortion. Despite my personal experience and my strong belief in reproductive rights, I hesitated to bring it up, especially with the current climate regarding abortion access in our country. The potential overturning of Roe v. Wade looms, and I can’t help but feel grateful for my own abortion from years ago. I’m not alone; a significant number of women who seek abortions are already parents, often with multiple children.
When I announced my pregnancy to my children, it sparked natural questions. We read a book called It’s So Amazing! by Robie H. Harris, which covers everything from puberty to pregnancy. While my kids were engaged, the brief mention of abortion left me questioning whether I had overlooked discussing it with them.
Searching for guidance, I discovered What’s An Abortion Anyway?, a resource designed to educate young people about abortion in a non-judgmental way. Author Carly Manes explained that discussions about abortion can begin when kids start asking questions or when the topic arises naturally. Sexual health educator Amy Lang emphasized that children are likely to encounter situations involving abortion themselves or through peers.
Approaching abortion conversations in a neutral, factual manner can help shield children from harmful stigmas and promote empathy. Manes pointed out that children are often more perceptive than we give them credit for, and if they’re curious, they’re ready to learn in an age-appropriate way.
For younger children, I wanted to ensure I didn’t overwhelm them. Manes suggested that her book allows for open dialogue and deeper conversations as children grow. I felt reassured that I hadn’t missed my chance to prepare for these discussions. Both Lang and Manes highlighted that early, honest communication fosters trust, which is vital for later conversations.
Lang recommended waiting until my children are teens to discuss my personal abortion experience and stressed the importance of using accurate language. Children, particularly under ten, are concrete thinkers and can easily be influenced by anti-abortion propaganda. It’s crucial for parents to discuss abortion within the broader context of bodily autonomy, consent, and sexual education.
Respect and trust were recurring themes in my conversations with experts. Tabitha St. Bernard-Jacobs, a writer and parenting educator, emphasized the importance of honesty and open dialogue with children. If parents haven’t tackled the topic of abortion by the time their kids are older, it’s essential to start asking questions, as kids may already have absorbed mixed messages from peers or media.
I plan to keep What’s An Abortion Anyway? as a resource to assist in discussions when they arise. Manes highlighted that everyone should have the autonomy to make decisions regarding their own bodies, underscoring the importance of self-determination. After my own abortion experience, when I saw that positive pregnancy test, I felt a rush of joy. Every person deserves the right to make informed decisions about their future and families.
As the Supreme Court faces the potential dismantling of Roe, I feel confident that my children will be equipped with knowledge about abortion as a human rights issue. Engaging them in these conversations can help them become compassionate, informed citizens. St. Bernard-Jacobs noted that older children possess significant influence among their peers and can advocate for reproductive rights.
Recently, my daughter asked a question that made me wonder if she was ready to discuss abortion. Before I could ponder it further, she was back to humming her favorite song. I no longer worry about being prepared for these discussions; when my kids are ready, I will be, too.
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Summary
Discussing abortion with children can be challenging but is crucial for fostering understanding and empathy. Early, age-appropriate conversations about bodily autonomy and reproductive health help build trust and prepare them for real-world situations. Utilizing resources like What’s An Abortion Anyway? can aid parents in navigating these discussions, ensuring children are informed and capable of making their own choices.
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