9 Reasons I May Not Qualify for Shopping at Whole Foods

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Let me share a little secret. As a suburban stay-at-home mom in 2015, I face a dilemma that might raise some eyebrows: I don’t shop at Whole Foods. (Gasp!) My reasoning isn’t exactly groundbreaking. The nearest Whole Foods is a whole 15-minute drive longer than my go-to grocery store. So, let’s be honest—it mostly comes down to my own laziness.

Even if I did muster the energy to haul my three fussy kids that extra distance to this organic wonderland, I’m not sure they’d let us through the doors. Our family feels caught between striving for health and settling for mediocrity. Here are some examples that illustrate this conundrum:

1. We consume organic milk, but it’s still cow’s milk. I know, shocking, right? Who drinks milk from a different animal?
2. I whip up homemade mac and cheese, but I rely on pre-packaged shredded cheese. Is it any healthier than that powdered stuff? Honestly, I couldn’t tell you.
3. We limit fast food to maybe once or twice a year, but we indulge our kids with cheap, store-brand popsicles and Star Wars fruit snacks.
4. I buy organic fruits and veggies only if they’re discounted, but we do manage to include some form of produce in our diet daily. (Wine counts for me—don’t argue!)
5. We don’t drink soda, yet we can demolish a family-sized bag of Cheetos faster than you can say “yellow dye #6.”
6. I lack eco-friendly muslin-colored reusable grocery bags, opting instead for plastic bags I recycle—yes, for wrapping up toddler messes. I might be contributing more to air pollution than land pollution with those stinky diapers.
7. Cloth diapers? Not happening. I didn’t use them for my toddler, nor did I for my newborn. My washing machine and I have a good relationship, thank you.
8. I rely on baby wipes and paper towels more than I should, yet I still manage to recycle diligently. Every bottle of wine and beer goes into the ever-full glass recycling bin, so I’m doing my part for the environment—sort of.
9. I skip juice boxes altogether, but I do buy a massive jug of 100% apple juice a few times a year when the kids are ill (store-brand, of course; I’m frugal even when my child has a fever).

I recognize that I could improve my habits, or I may never enter that chemical-free paradise a mere 15 minutes away. However, maintaining these standards is challenging! Remember when butter was deemed unhealthy, only to be reinstated as a health food? And don’t even get me started on the whirlwind of milk alternatives from soy to almond to coconut.

Seriously, world! Can we give us moms a break? I’m doing what I can (kinda), and at least my children aren’t growing up in a cloud of secondhand smoke like I did. They’ll be fine, right? (Sure, they will, I tell myself as I pour my daily fruit serving…)

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In summary, while I may not qualify for Whole Foods, I’m doing my best to strike a balance between health and convenience, all while navigating the ups and downs of motherhood.