At some point, every parent must take a moment to assess the teenagers they have nurtured with care and dedication. It becomes necessary to address them directly and say, “Get real.” These three words can significantly contribute to their growth into responsible adults, creating a more considerate society.
Unlike my upbringing, where my parents never had such candid conversations, I encountered a wise individual at 19 who changed my outlook. After several dates, during a casual dinner, he playfully yet firmly told me to “get real” while I was complaining about his decisions, perhaps regarding his voting preferences. That moment was transformative. I began to let go of my unspoken expectations and realized that my viewpoint was not always the ultimate truth. I learned to listen to others and even started showing kindness in simple actions, like holding doors open for those behind me.
The journey toward becoming more reasonable does not occur overnight. It requires repeated reminders, as I learned over time. In contrast, my siblings never experienced that necessary wake-up call. Consequently, my sister still insists that family vacations revolve around her preferences, even if it means enduring a three-hour opera without breaks. My brother is in a relationship where his partner simply acquiesces, allowing him to demand extravagant birthday cakes, which, let’s face it, are just desserts.
As parents of teenagers ourselves, we understand this critical developmental phase. Between ages 14 and 18, children often develop a belief that the world centers around them. The shift from adorable kids to self-absorbed adolescents can catch us off guard. My sons transitioned from sweet goodnights to grumpy mornings, convinced of their entitlement. It was time for intervention, and I had to say, “Get real.”
This is not an easy task, as we remember the challenges of toddlerhood when we might have preferred to distract them with cartoons. Yet, together, we can tackle this phase. Here are some common teenage remarks in our household that required gentle yet firm reality checks:
- “I’m an adult now!”
- “I won’t discuss it.”
- “Whatever.”
- “Jake’s dad said it was okay.”
- “Do you enjoy your wine much?”
- “The game has three minutes left; I’ll eat after.”
- “Just shake the boxes for cereal.”
- “Who planned Aunt Martha’s funeral during the playoffs?”
- “I wasn’t trash-talking; I was just being honest.”
- “I need you to drive back to my school and bring my gray folder. Or do you want me to fail?”
- “Since you’re up, can you pass me the ketchup, napkin, more fries, and the remote?”
- “I’d like to finish what I have to say before you lecture me.”
Let’s join forces as parents. If we don’t guide our children now, we may end up with entitled adults. It’s time to stand tall and express, with both firmness and affection, “Get real.” We can deliver this message with love and a touch of humor, feeling good about instilling valuable lessons in our children, as well as in our shared world.
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In summary, as we guide our teenagers towards maturity, the simple phrase “Get real” can initiate significant changes in their behavior. It’s crucial to help them recognize the importance of empathy and consideration for others. By doing so, we are not only shaping them into better individuals but also contributing to a more compassionate world.
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