In the realm of 21st-century parenting, a fascinating trend has emerged: new parents are attending concerts of their favorite bands from their pre-kid days, bringing their little ones along for the experience. This growing phenomenon reflects a broader cultural shift that allows parents to maintain their social lives, even in the absence of a babysitter. Similar to family-friendly dining spots featuring “Family Tables” and cinemas hosting Baby Nights, this approach to concert-going encourages parents to embrace opportunities for enjoyment. It requires a bit of imagination, reminiscent of those who relished the hardcore punk scene of the ’70s: “If I just close my eyes and pretend hard enough, maybe I’ll forget I need to change a diaper between sets.”
When I shared this trend with my friend Laura, a spirited woman in her sixties with children of her own, she exclaimed, “Oh dear, another way to bond that we could do without.” However, I firmly support parents who assert the need for occasional nights out, transforming the concert experience into a mysterious and special event for their children. It can serve as a benchmark for young ones, alongside milestones like obtaining a driver’s license or legal drinking age: “You’re not ready yet, but if you finish your vegetables and study for your spelling test, someday you will be.”
There is merit in a more organic approach to musical appreciation, where children absorb sounds through casual exposure rather than forceful insistence. I’d gladly pay for every interview I’ve encountered where musicians reflect, “My parents always played a lot of Johnny Cash, so that might explain why my songwriting has a slow and steady bass line.” Like good nutrition, good music should be accessible, leaving the choice to the child.
In fact, trying to impose your musical preferences too tightly on your child risks a backlash. The rebellious teenage years—where one seeks to establish an identity separate from parental influence—could lead a child, nourished on Tom Petty and classic hip-hop, to embrace the allure of pop sensations like Ke$ha.
When my eldest daughter, Lily, was in fifth grade, a Crowded House concert was scheduled at the renowned Fillmore Auditorium in San Francisco. She expressed a desire to attend, and I agreed, partly because I had noticed her humming songs from their album “Together Alone” while studying, and partly so she could recount a memorable first concert experience. Let’s be honest: having a young companion might also attract a bit of attention from the band.
On a surprisingly warm spring evening, we crossed the Bay Bridge from Oakland to join the line for general admission. At barely 4’10”, Lily was apprehensive about being overwhelmed by enthusiastic fans. Having witnessed the band perform multiple times, I reassured her that the average Crowded House attendee is around 49 years old, predominantly sporting Dansko clogs and a penchant for environmental activism. The gentle nature of the fanbase was evident as we mingled with those already queued, receiving friendly smiles and even a high five.
During the concert, several notable interactions occurred. While awaiting the opening act, we engaged with those around us, including a delightful couple of fifth-grade teachers who spotted one of their students in the audience. They invited Lily to the front row for a better view. Shortly after, a security guard approached and asked if Lily would prefer a chair for the show, positioning it conveniently near the stage.
As Crowded House took the stage, Lily donned her vibrant purple earplugs, maneuvered around the barrier, and settled into her seat just three feet from the front. Amidst the rising excitement, the same security guard reached for a water bottle from guitarist Mark Hart’s microphone base and handed it to her, receiving a wink from Mark as she took a sip.
As the concert began to wind down, our friendly security guard returned with a rolled-up concert poster, exclaiming, “We’re not allowed to give these out!” When it was time to leave—reluctantly departing between encores at 11:30 pm on a school night—an older gentleman with a laminated pass gifted Lily a backstage pass as a keepsake.
This experience illustrates the delicate balance of sharing your musical tastes with your children. While there’s the thrill of introducing them to your favorites, there’s also the risk that their tastes may diverge dramatically from your own someday.
In summary, the trend of attending concerts as a family not only allows parents to maintain their musical interests but also provides children with unique experiences that could shape their own tastes. The key lies in creating an environment where music is enjoyed organically, leaving space for their individuality to flourish.
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