As a resident of suburbia, I recently became a member of the local MOMS Club International. For an annual fee of $25, fellow mothers in the community are expected to invite my child and me to various gatherings, including picnics, story times, holiday celebrations, and weekly play groups. It’s a unique club where casual breastfeeding during conversations is fully accepted—perhaps only rivaled by certain adult establishments.
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One of the highlights of being part of the MOMS Club is the weekly play groups, organized by the children’s birth years. My son belongs to the 2013 cohort, and typically we see a turnout of 6 or 7 moms along with an equal number of children. That amounts to a lively crowd of a dozen or more, all in one room, and yes, they are toddlers!
Until recently, I had managed to avoid hosting a play group. Despite my nagging guilt, I simply couldn’t bring myself to take on the responsibility. What if someone got injured? What if a child had a severe allergy to our dog? What if no one showed up? Or everyone did? And what if chaos erupted, leading me to scream, “I hate you all!” in a moment of frustration?
Ultimately, guilt won out, and I signed up to host. Surprisingly, I survived the experience and can confidently say I managed it quite well—with minimal bloodshed and no major messes. So, for those mothers contemplating the challenge, here’s a concise guide to:
Hosting a Play Group or Running a Fight Club in 10 Simple Steps:
- Stock Up on Snacks: Keep their mouths busy with store-bought cookies so they won’t notice that your home resembles a chaotic playground.
- Get Spousal Assistance: Recruit your partner to eliminate visible traces of your child’s presence—such as cleaning up oatmeal from chairs, milk from floors, and other toddler-related messes.
- Brew Coffee: This will help mask any unpleasant odors from your trash can or the Diaper Genie.
- Hide Stuffed Animals: Remove stuffed toys from sight, or as we call them in our household, “the tissues.”
- Post a Welcome Note: Use your door to guide attendees to the play area. You might say, “Moms, please join us in the basement for play group. The barking dog is contained in the bedroom!”
- Greet Your Guests: Offer them snacks immediately. You might also playfully suggest a drink, like whiskey in a coffee mug—just kidding… or am I?
- Observe the Chaos: Watch as children flock to toys and begin to interact, leading to moments of both joy and minor skirmishes. The natural order prevails as they navigate their little jungle.
- Wrap Up: When the time comes, gently usher everyone out.
- Check on Your Child: After the mayhem, find your child amidst a pile of toys. As you settle him into his crib for a nap, ponder over why he’s sticky or clutching something questionable.
- Clean Up: Gather all toys into the yard, spray them down with disinfectant, and say goodbye to the remnants of the playdate.
Congratulations! If you successfully followed these steps, you have just hosted either a play group or a fight club. Prepare for a potential onslaught of flu, pink eye, or even fleas in the next few days.
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In summary, hosting a play group can be a rewarding yet chaotic experience. By following these steps, you’ll be prepared to manage the delightful mess that comes along with it, all while building connections with fellow parents.
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